laughing at the foolish idea of my "breather" week

12:30 The Hub hunched shoulders and bluring eyes "I am not going to hug a visitor if I see them!" Derek B "different fonts, differnt things" ahhhh I want to go to bed.................... oh and if you care, read the editorial in this week's record and see if you can catch the mild n------- invasion in the news articles, first one to cite both examples will get something, don't know what cause it is late, but just make a comment or something oh and as a special note for katie, just comment about anything you think would make a good n------- invasion and I will send you a special email. List of things to possibly add excitement to my life: drop out of college and go to mongolia with Sarah pierce my nose get a perm sleep more sleep less have a 21st birthday buy a camera don't buy a camera wow so many options

getting a tast of the real world by being paid to post

well this morning is a lovely fall morning. autumn is by far my favorite of all the seasons. I can see the tops of trees beginning to give into the color parade. I think they must get so vain this time of year. Last night I had a great catchup chat with Kristi and one of the interesting thoughs we arrived at was how the world would be different if instead of seeing people's physical bodies thier appearance consisted of their thoughts! Wouldn't that be a crazy world, no cheating, no lying, but no surprises either. Well Meryl is back from peeing, so I must go back to work.

it was like having your heart pulled out of your chest and beaten, but in a good way

I just got back from watching the movie The Burning Season about Chico Mendez. It was heart-renching, fascinating, beautiful, hopeful, and as David put it very well, made me want to lament to God. How can humans do such awful things to each other? Why must there be pain in the world? Yet how does one move from this emotional reaction to concrete action? What are the proper concrete actions? So yes, it was a very good movie, but now I feel very drained and just want to go to bed. Oh and tomorrow is gonna be packed and in chamber we are gonna be practicing a new more difficult piece in octets! Scary! and guess who doesn't have time to practice! Well wish me luck and thanks to all those who have been commenting (Steph this means you!) on my blog, I really appreciate it. Well goodnight to you all and may you all find ways to work towards making this wonderful world a better place.

tuesdays are always better than mondays

Just had a lovely visit from Andrew and last night has another good visit from Nathan and Co. Although these things tend to cut back on my homework time, I wouldn't have it any other way, college truly is a great time in life. Oh as an update from the camera field, I am definitely thinking more and more seriously about purchasing the Minolta Dimage Xt. However any decision will have to wait until I get another paycheck and I should also probably consult my parents to get their input. Yet today I was reading an article on consumerism and how Christians should live in today's materialistic society. I mean I don't need this new camera at all. I would like one, but there are also a whole lot of more beneficial ways to spend almost 200 dollars. Is it a sin for me to spend money on a pure luxury, when there are so many in need? What do you all think? If you want more info, the article I read can be located through e-reserves for GC people or try here. So that is some of the things on my mind. Oh and just cause I feel like it, here is the "recipe" for my pasta salad. Ingredients: one box of whole wheat pasta 3-4 tomatoes 1-2 cups Greek Vinegarette dressing 8oz Feta cheese (although more is always nice, if you can afford it) 1 onion 1 cucumber 1 green, red or yellow pepper Parmesan cheese to taste Instructions: Cook pasta, chop veges, mix all ingredients together until very yummy. Chill and then eat, or if you are really hungry reverse the order.

should just be going to bed

Well as mentioned in earlier posts, I have been mourning the loss of functionality of my beloved digital camera. Although I think I will possibly try calling the HP tech services, I have been spending time today shopping for digital cameras. Wow, there are some really nifty devices out there. Unfortunately they also cost a lot of money, although it is interesting how much more I can get now for approx. the same amount of money I spent on my original camera. This is the one I am currently most excited about: isn't it cute!

slight headache and reading to do

I hope you all enjoy those photos I posted. I just downloaded a software thinger that makes posting pictures really easy and organizes all my pictures for me! Today was busier than I thought, after working for the morning and finishing jewelry at 4, I was looking forward to doing some grocery shopping and then making myself a yummy pasta salad supper. However I had not been informed that we did indeed have chamber choir today from 4 to 5:30, so that set me back some. Then when I attempted to find Meryl's car, I ended up searching without any luck. Frustrated I returned to my room, found out the car's location from Meryl, then finally got to Kroger. Bought my feta cheese (necessary for most yummy pasta salads) and cooked my meal. It is now almost 7:30 and my stomach is content, my head still hurts a little bit, but other than that I think it was worth it. Seeing as I now have a large tuperware container full of food, plus extra (if anyone reads this in the next little while come find me and I'll give you food). Anyways I am off to the library or will be when I finish procrastining.

Three girls, all with blogs :) 

One of the best pictures from last year, although it doesn't contain Tara :( 

upsie downsie

I never really like sunday evenings, they always seem to have too much of the monday in them and not enough of the friday in them. Essentially I find myself usually trying to squeeze the last bit of weekend out of my time and therefore am rarely productive. Plus in this case, after spending the weekend in PA, I feel like I have so much to process and not enough time to do it in. So the weekend... Although my cousin's wedding was my main reason for going out to PA, it ended up being one of the least important parts of the weekend. My focus ended up spending as much time as possible connecting with Laura, my closest cousin in age. She and I have been going through very similar experiences in the past year and despite our very different places in life have really been able to connect and have really meaningful conversations. Much of what I spent time talking to her about over the weekend was some of the changes or maybe a better way to say it would be areas of growth, she has experienced in the past year. She is currently living in the city of Lancaster in awesome little apartment with three other girls. Yet more importantly she is a part of a group called Gemeinschaft (Christian in German) which a very spiritally based intentional community of people who choose to hold each other acountable within their relationships. Another large part of Laura's life is her involvement with NightWatch which she got involved with through an internship in Kansas City over the summer. In short her and the others in NightWatch focus on providing 24 hour prayer for both Lancaster County and the nation. They do this by meeting from 10pm till 2am 6 nights a week. Part intercessory prayer, part devotional, the evening offers an informal place for others to join them in worship. Yet at the heart of their ministry is the belief in the power of prayer. While I origionally had a lot of doubts about some of Laura's choices and wasn't sure how I would react to some of the newer dimensions of her faith, instead I was really impressed with the realness, intimacy, and integrety I saw in her faith and in the faiths of those she has surronded herself with. It really awakened in me a lot of questions about my own faith and the difficulty in making a head faith, that one of the heart. I really feel that I have had a lot of significant things happen to me in the past year, yet I haven't had the time or tools to deal with them all. Also in the past few weeks I have had several meaningful conversations about the difficulty with finding the spark in your faith, with which to base a more heartfelt faith upon. Along with that, I have for a very long time been dealing with the feeling of a having this underlying pain/sadness running along underneath my life. I have never been able to figure out why this is and have been frustrated at why I often have trouble feeling happy, despite the multitude of goodness I have in my life. It was while driving back with Laura from visiting her NightWatch on Saturday night at approx. 2:30 in the morning that I first realized that there might be a connection between the feelings of emptyness and that of missing the spark of my faith. So this has obviously caused me to really think about how I want to be spending life and on what I should be placing my emphasis. In less related topics, the wedding was very nice and although not my style a pleasure to attend. And Jerad and Nicole are now in the Domincan Republic for their honeymoon. Oh and when I first found out about their honeymoon location, I was like "why would they be going to SST for their honeymoon?" Maybe I have been at Goshen to long.... :)

gee, blogs are fun

I would just like to give a "shout-out" to katie, for the amazing job she does with her blog. I swear I will someday be reading incredible books, poems, or articles by you. Thanks for letting all of us stuck at home get a glimpse of your interesting experiences. If you wannna check it out yourself, go to http://phantomflute.blogspot.com/. It is always a fascinating read. Also thanks to those special two who have given me comments, a refreshing reminder that my blog is not alone and lost in the big sea of digitalness. Oh and yeah for warm autumn breezes brushing through my window and I think I am happy enough to even be grateful for the dirty cereal bowls siting in the windowsill. Have a great weekend folks and I will be back Sunday evening Spider Solitare Games: I don't know how it happened, but I have yet to play a game, since creating this blog, hmmmm maybe there is a connection :)

meryl moment

one of the reasons I love my roommate is getting to wake up to the sound (not of my alarm clock going off, no not at all) of someone repeatedly slapping their alarm clock in a desprite attempt to silence its noise. Here's the kicker, the alarm being slapped was hers and the alarm going off was mine! Ah, I love my roomie. oh and the exam actually went decently well and although I feel certain of an A or B, I can't pin point anything more specific than that. So my mood is definitly on the up swing!

hmmmm....title

just an update on the suckiest evening ever: it isn't over abby isn't happy but life will continue

surrender

okay that's it folks, I give up for tonight. I will fail this exam and not care anymore, yes I will study some more, but I no longer will admit to caring about it. Why is there the curse of 8am exams? Why, God, Why?

celebration of manual labor

Today was celebrate service day and I got to be a buff construction worker! Moving concrete blocks and filling in areas with gravel in the hot noonday sun, it really was a blast. I like doing things that have obvious results that I can feel good about. I like the fact that although I may not always like the appearance of my body it can help me do difficult tasks and that I am strong! And in the end, doesn't that matter more than beauty? It was also really fun getting to know the really cool girls on my floor better. We are a fun bunch and I think we worked well together. As for the update on workloads, this evening is going to suck a wee bit, but hopefully tomorow and my 8am (ugggh) exam will go well. Then I will be home free and able to sleep for 10 hours in the car on the way to PA and my cousin's wedding. Enough with the procrastinating, I must be diligent. Oh and on the question of whether I will share this blog with others, I have decided to let a few at a time read it, before I just reveal it to the world. So I have to censor myself, but not completely :) Spider Solitare games: huh? what?

catch a boat to england, baby, maybe to spain...

Music: blues run the game by simon and garfunkel I am finding myself strangely content right now, despite the nagging feeling I have had for several days now, that I am heading into a slump. I have noticed several warning signs, including a feeling of overlookedness, apathy towards others' problems, and also a general feeling of tiredness. Yet this evening was fun, mainly because I was extremely productive for around 3 hours, then had a fun game of cards with zeb, miriam and becca. I think simon and garfunkel truly is the perfect music for my mood right now. Light with an underlying touch of melancholy. This saturday is Jerod's wedding, which will remove one of the 6 remaining cousins older than me and not married/engaged. This leaves only Melissa, Corina, Hannah, David, Tim and then me! Does anyone else find that concept scary! Dang, I hate this! Although don't take that to mean that I am not really happy for Jerod or anything, I am, just also confused I guess. As I put it to steph over the weekend, why did God create in me the desire for romantic relationships if I am never to have any? And although I know maybe I just need to be patient, it would be nice to have at least some sign that I am desirable to the opposite sex. Anyways that conversation topic is probably close to crossing the public nature of this journal/blog. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't publish this..... Well goodnight dear cyber readers who don't exist. "So I'll continue to continue to pretend my life will never end and flowers never bend with the rainfall"

fuzzy eyeballs

Today I went for a six-month examination at my eye doctor and after having my pupils enlarged to the size of small grapes and attempting not to look at the very bright light being shone in my eyes, I was informed that I have weird looking lattices in my eyes. Despite the Dr. Clark's less then reassuring comment regarding their "weirdness", I am apparently not to worry and just let them know right away if I see any flashing lights or really weird floaties. Hmmm, so does that mean I should avoid any conversion type experiences on any roads to Damascus that I may be walking along? Spider Solitaire Games: zero! I know very impressive, too busy for even this most basic form of procrastination. Although the number of entries I made yesterday, would indicate I have found other means. Oh and I think I have decided to tell people about my blog, I guess I just want to share the love.

learning the hard way

I was just half way through a reflective/venting blog when I switched over to settings, to check something that I was wondering about. Which as I learned deletes the post you are currently working on, ach bugger. so goodnight, I will have to vent another night.

mondays continued

Music (after the style of steph and katie): Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows (from the soundtrack to Shrek 2) Well I was productive this afternoon and finished my reading for my 8 o'clock, but I also realized that I have a unexpected 3-4 page paper due thursday...... You win some you lose some I guess. After reading Katie's blog, I have decided that Europe is just the way to go and after I finish with Goshen I am going to find some way to get there and stay there for a while. Still debating whether to let people read this blog or not. I don't know there are definitly pros and cons to both sides. But so far one big influence has been the fact that even if I don't tell anyone about it, people could still be reading it and therefore it isn't completly private and so I still need to censor my ramblings. Well... I guess I will continue to this debate until it reaches its own ends. Spider Solitare Games: zero, still haven't touched it since last thursday, although this evening may prove my undoing, seeing as I will be attempting productivity.

mondays......

I am tired, but what else is new with the world. I ended up watching kill bill 2 last night with Zeb. Why do I do these things to myself? We started the movie around 12ish, and I didn't get to bed until after 2. Not a wise move, abby. Any who, this week is not going to be pretty and I have decided to just survive it with little hope for interesting or relaxing events. I guess I blew all those with my lovely weekend. I have decided I may have a strange attraction to men who shave their heads and/or work in contruction. Oh and it helps if they are true "renaissance men".:) I think I need to find me a nice Mennonite farm boy, who no longer wishes to be a farm boy, but wants to travel the world. Okay enough blitherings for now. Spider solitaire update: what is this game you speak of?

secretive tendencies

I have decided I like this blog, it is small (so far) and rather unassuming. I also rather like that no one knows about it, and so probably the only one who will see these words is me. However I also feel the need to share my little baby with the world (not entirely sure why, because I am not yet at all certain it would add to the world in any meaningful way). So this weekend.... Where does one begin. Well as stated, the main event of the weekend was the renaissance Fair. And I am so terrible sorry, but the camera that had claimed to be fixed, was indeed lying, so there are no multitudes of pictures with which to show you all. So to do my best to summarize: I bought a dress! not entirely sure what style this dress would be described as French or Italian, but not incredibly ornate. It is blue (of course) and I love it, it is essentially a chemise with a blue over dress. It didn't come with a skirt, but I look forward to making one, because as was pointed out to me later in the evening, wearing it as is, is similar to walking around in one's underwear and a vest. However as one gentleman at my feast table informed me, he saw no problem with that :) Dancing: This was great and sort of what my experience revolved around. Throughout the day we (steph, me, nathan, rachel, brittany) all participated in dance lessons and learned different dances that would be done at the grand ball later in the evening. There we met Paul and Keith, two great men who sort of adopted our group and proved great guides to the world of renaissance Fair and dancing. Although both were single and in their late 30's/early 40's, they were amazing gentlemen and very charming (but not in a gross older guys way). Sort of made me think that maybe I should be looking for older guys instead of trying to find someone in college :). Anyways in the evening after the amazing feast (which I will talk about next) we danced for almost 3 hours. Which for anyone familiar with contra or square dancing, renaissance dancing was similar, except everyone was wearing remarkable costumes and there were different instruments providing the music. And the dancing was more structured. I decided I like the English Country style better than Italian, because of its simpler steps and closer resemblance to barn dances! Another highlight was learning salsa and meringue moves from Nathan during the songs that we didn't know, great fun! Feast: This was an amazing culinary adventure, and incredibly delicious. 5 courses or removes as they were called, the meal was quite drawn out and varied in spices and tastes. Done in a middle eastern style the combinations of tastes was quite lovely. But even more than the food, the Feast demonstrated to me the amazing community of the renaissance fair. Because we had been unaware that one needed to bring one's own feast gear (dinnerware), we ended up being provided for by about 3 or 4 different people who all had brought extras. At steph and I's table there was keith, an older couple who did a lot of explaining for us and gave us websites and such and also a great 8th century monk who had several daughters around different tables and seemed to really fit his persona. It was here that I began to glimpse the world that is SCA (society for creative anacronisms) and the amazing knowledge and dedication some of these people have to pursuing accurate recreations of various historical periods. We also learned about Penzack which is the 2 week long national version of this type of thing that takes place in July at a campgrounds in Western PA. So there is the long and short of it, and I am going to let this rest for now.

Quick Check-in

Well I really don't have time to chat, but I will just stop to say the Renaissance fair was amazing! (yes, I bought a dress!!!!) (no, it didn't cost me hundreds of dollars:)). My one sentence summary would be that the concept of contra style dancing but with different music and everyone in amazing costumes and using impeccable manners is fantastic. I will of course talk later about this, but for now I must hurry along home for baking bread with Hannah. Spider solitaire Games this weekend: zero, yah, having to much fun to play (maybe I am breaking my addiction!)

this weekend

I fixed my camera!!!! it is true, nothing rocks my world more than duct tape. Magic in a roll, is what I like to call it. Anyways back to my topic at hand, this weekend is hopefully going to rock seeing as I will be attending my first ever Renaissance Fair and getting to spend a bunch of time with Steph. Which will be nice cause we haven't really had a lot of time to hang out after spending our summer one continent and an ocean apart. But then I didn't get to see any of my goshen friends this summer, cause I was off having adventures in another world (ie. N. Ireland). And then after that amazing good time, I will be sleeping in on Sunday and then baking bread with Hannah and traipsing my way over to a Southwest History Reunion. Which should be good times all around.

the first I ever...

So, I have given into the temptation to create my own forum for long winded schpeels about myself and my life. I have never been a big journaler, but I like emails and blogging, so I figured I would add to the huge masses of information available in digital form. Spider Solitare Games played today: none (yet)