no more finals

Well in celebration of my lack of school work on the to-do list I watched Love Actually this evening with Lucas and Miriam. Good movie overall, I had seen it before, but it had been a while. Plus it was neat to recognize scenes and landmarks from London. Anyways movies like that always put me in a mushy mood. Earlier this evening I was watching Amazing Race and there was an older couple competing on it and they were really amazing and so obviously in love. I guess that's what I want, not just someone, but a special person. When it comes down to it, I really don't like the idea of living life single and really want to find someone to share my life with. Yet people always say that you only find love when you aren't looking for it, or when you are fully content with where you are. So how do I do that? Do I deny that I want a relationship? or do I continue to want something I don't have and may never have? Thus is the current frustration of my life, plus this whole area is then tied into my self-esteem and body insecurity issues. Sigh, sometimes I wish........... Okay enough of all that. My Christmas break is shaping up to be a lot of fun. I am gonna go to Chicago on Thursday with a bunch of friends and we are gonna stay there until Sunday afternoon. Gonna see some sites, do some relaxing, all around have a good time. After that I am gonna work for three days for Nancy, watch the extended version of Return of the King, then go to Chicago to pick up Tim and Charletta. Then the rest of break will be spent sleeping, spending time with family, and enjoying christmas. (in a house with no kitchen!)