blitherings sprung anew

It's official

2007-03-07T18:14:00.000-05:00

I am now found entirely over at Mennogirl. Come over and join the fun!

just thought you all should know

2006-10-26T23:28:00.000-04:00

shhh, don't tell but I am now officially a two-timer. To check out the other woman go to http://mennogirl.wordpress.com Ps. it's still in template form, but the header is mine and eventually post css update and dreamweave arrival all will be mine.

things I am grateful

2006-10-14T20:40:00.000-04:00

The radiators have kicked on these past few days, which means that autumn is for real now. We had three visitors sleeping in our apartment last night. I got to see Tara. Trips to Le Peep for very filling brunches, and finding a dail (spelling?) rod for my Chinese wall hanging The fact that it is only Saturday night the Chicago Botanic Garden leaves cameras water and sun good friends emails from brothers a job that pays me well and doesn't ask for a whole lot in return hugs oh and kittens and kites and brown paper packages tied up with string PS. My adobe CS2 software should get here next weekend with Steph!

one reason I love Chicago

2006-10-12T17:51:00.000-04:00

It snowed today! Granted in three months, I will probably be so sick of snow flurries in Chicago, that this glee will be long faded. Still it snowed today, yes the 12th of October, and real snow. Not just a few flakes, but actual dusting cover and I got to walk in it. Flipping between blue sky with softly turning leaves, to grey-white pelting flakes, the weather today was unexpected, shifting and glorious. How many times does one get to look up into brilliant blue sky, see one's breath, and watch snow coat orange red leaves!

cat torture

2006-10-11T23:30:00.000-04:00

Jess and I trimmed the kitty's claws tonight. Or should I say I held a 10 lb squirming hissing ball of fur wrapped up in a blanket for 5 minutes while Jess plucked a paw out of the mass and trimmed an eensy tensy bit of each nail off. Oh and of course Becca captured this whole scene with her camera. But I do believe the cat has forgive me, seeing as she was curled up next to me just a few short minutes ago.

being inspired

2006-10-10T23:25:00.000-04:00

I just got back from Stephanie Klein's reading for her new book Straight Up and Dirty. I have been reading her blog for almost a year now and I really like her style. And I mean that in the whole life she presents to the world. It obviously isn't an entirely wonderful one, but she makes the single life in the city sound appealing, but also realistic. But most of all I like it that she is so honest, from sharing her mishaps with dating, to her issues with weight, to her beautiful photography, Stephanie seems to be a very genuine person. Plus it was a lot of fun to meet in person and to hear the voice of someone who I feel like I know so well already. Hearing about the work and energy she puts into writing both her blog and her book (she is working on a second one about going to fat camps as a child), is definitely inspiring to me. I think I really want to take this blog more seriously and use it not only as a way of updating people on my life, but letting out a little creativity now and then. Plus I am hoping that I soon will be able to a real overhaul of the design and change a lot of the parts of it that have been frustrating me for a while. The other good part of the night was wearing my new grey blazer, red shoes, matching purse and feeling quite cityified. But I do indeed need to go to work tomorrow, so I think I shall say goodnight.

listening: Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

2006-10-09T21:48:00.000-04:00

This song is quickly rising the charts of my favorite current songs. I love both the phrase "crop circles in the carpet" and "spin me 'round again and rub my eyes, this can't be happening when busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy" Anyways this was a lovely day, I had off because of Columbus' noble discovery of the empty new world (or alternatively titled Columbus' accidental calamitous visit to the civilizations of North and South America). I slept in to 10:30am because last night Andrew, Jess and I watched Junebug until almost 2am. It was a decent movie, although the only really redeeming portion of it was Amy Adams performance as a young pregnant woman married to the younger brother of a traditional southern family. So today I got to be lazy for the first time in quite some time. Becca and I worked in our room for a while and got some more things put away and up onto our walls and we also took a walk down to the lake. But then for most of the afternoon I watched three episodes of Project Runway season 1. Quite a delightful show, I love the emotions that get kicked up and I absolutely love one of the contestants Jay, who has the best sound bites and outfits. Anyways I keep get distracted by random internet browsing, so I think I am going to go do more of that.

saved post from a few days ago

2006-10-08T13:19:00.000-04:00

I must say our apartment is coming together, tonight our chosen project was hanging up Jess's beautiful Chinese painting and our two hall mirrors. And when combined with last night's project of hanging our three paper lanterns, I think our living room especially is quite beautiful. However I still have to get my contributions to the wall framed so they can be hung up. But I will have to make this short because my battery is running low and Becca is already asleep. Today I turned 23, yes more old age ruminating from a young whipper snapper, yes I know that this is kind of obnoxious. Yet I can't help feeling like I am heading into a period of my life that will fly by. I officially don't have any more big milestones in my life (well except for that whole house, marriage, babies thing, which at this point I don't even know if those will happen). I have been thinking a lot more about this whole librarian thing and getting an MLS, I think it might make a lot of sense to get a graduate degree sooner as opposed to later. Maybe overseas things will have to wait for a while. But then of course when I did eventually go overseas I would have more to offer, instead of just an willingness to work and an ability to speak english. Okay now I really need to go, battery dying.......

happy pre-birthday to me

2006-10-04T22:36:00.000-04:00

This evening was much better than yesterday, thank goodness. Life with my three wonderful roomies still has working out to be done, and our apartment still has unfinished bits. But tonight was a good one, although shorter than I would like. I think I may check into reducing my after school days to one, because getting home at 7pm two nights a week, really cuts into my time to get work done. But tonight after hanging our three paper lanterns, we watched another firefly episode, which I always love. Seriously, the captain...........sigh. In other news I am turning 23 tomorrow, which seems both bizarre and very normal. This past month I have embarked on all kinds of adult behavior, but yet this has seemed very normal too me. However at the same time I am beginning to realize I am quickly entering the stage of life, where the years fly by and quickly blend into old age. I look back on my childhood and see that time as such a drawn out period. I mean don't the years spent in elementary school feel so much longer than those spent in high school and college? If anything it seems this acceleration in time only increases. Which reminds me that once again I missed the anniversary of this blog. This past September 17th, marked the 2 year anniversary of this blog. In looking back at that time, I noticed that tried for some time to post something everyday. Maybe I should once again, try to get myself into that kind of regularity. Well this post is definitely a jumpy one, sorry for the lack of complete thoughts, but here are some other things that have been skipping through my brain -going to grad school to get my MLS (Masters in Library Science) -Egypt -love -magazines -watching new musicals such as the Pirate Queen last night -playing with the kitty -etc -checking out irish pubs in evanston Anyways I think I will leave you with links to my previous two birthday posts. 21 My actual post is around halfway down the page and includes a 21 picture intro. I can't seem to remember how to link to an individual post anymore! 22 This one can be found almost at the bottom of the page and is of course my famous birthday in China. P.S. Today and Yesterday I rode the bus home, and I must say there is something about public transportation that I think I will always love! UPDATE: Tim showed me how to link to individual posts, so now you can all find the post through the link directly! Thanks Tim.

ughishness

2006-10-04T00:47:00.000-04:00

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no real post today may post regularly later but not now

thank God for Yom Kippur

2006-10-02T09:05:00.000-04:00

So despite my lack of Jewishness, I must say I am very greatful for this important day, mainly however because my school is closed today! Unfortuately, next week I will also be developing a similar gratefulness for Columbus day.

a letter to a friend

2006-09-28T17:59:00.000-04:00

S----, I am working in a library now, a high school one, here in Etown. It is huge, larger than all the schools I have attended in my life combined. Student enrollment is around 3,200, so we have two libraries, one for fiction and the reference library. I work in the reference library, mainly in charge of periodicals, but basically I do lots of other random things as well. I am by far the youngest person in the department, probably by around 12 years, but I also work with really good people, so that helps. As for how I finagled it, I was lucky enough to find out about the job through J's mom Sh who works here as well. Then I guess I just appealed to them. I think being a recent graduate helped, but I really don't know why it was that they hired me. The library itself is really beautiful, I mean especially if you find books beautiful. But the main room is two stories high, with books lining every wall. There is also a balcony, or a narrow walkway on three walls of the room. The fourth wall of the room is a huge bank of windows, with these long rust colored drapes on it. On mornings like today when the sun shines directly in, some of the blinds are closed, but still sunlight comes pouring through. Making all the computer screens hard to see. My little desk is in the entrance way between the main room and the reference room. I have my own phone, although I have yet to figure out how to set up my voice mail. And my own computer, which I use for such wasteful purposes as emailing and interneting, although I try very hard to limit it to before work or during lunch. I am still learning things here at work, trying to figure out my place in the department and learning various library tasks. It is funny that I have already been here a month, only 9 more of those left in this year. My favorite of the random tasks I have taken on, was stamping all the new fiction books in this years "July" order. Basically this gave me an excuse to look at all the new books and call first dibs on them. So far I am reading both Freakanomics and The Book Thief. Fall is definitely arriving here in Etown, the leaves are beginning to change, and the weather is moving from crisp mornings to just a little chilly. But this morning the sky was brilliantly blue, with just a few puffs of clouds. How is C---- treating you? Are you feeling more settled in? Have you tried the baozi yet? What kind of classes are you teaching? Anways I am due to actually start working soon, but I too would love to know what you are up too and I apologize for my lateness of emailing. I feel like in all this transitioning I haven't had time or energy for much more than unpacking and sleeping. But I think things are getting better. take care, Abby

I hate titles

2006-09-28T00:16:00.000-04:00

not really, but today has definitely been one of those crazy up and down days that occurs shall we say usually once a month. Most of the day was really good, work went well. I felt productive and useful, two things that I have found are very important in the success of my days at the Job. I feel like I need to have instant blogging access or none at all. Today I thought about blogging about living in a city, which I really like so far. However then after a babysitting job, I had to be driven home the 10 minutes or so, because it was dark and I am a woman. But today as I was walking around there were so many beautiful moments, trees in the wind, old buildings, sounds of children laughing through apartment windows above my heads. It is a little crazy how quickly life of going to bed at 10pm (unlike tonight where I am being very stupid) and getting up at 6:30am have become routine. While on occasion I look back on the flexibility of class schedules with mild nostalgia, for the most part this new life has becomes strangely normal. It is interesting how despite the level of adult things I am doing now, I remain unconvinced that this really is my new life. In other news, the kitty is probably 50% less pissy, maybe its the lack of men around, or the smaller place, who knows.

quest of bohemia

2006-09-24T18:28:00.000-04:00

Becca and I have decided upon a theme for our room and it is earthtone bohemian. Today we picked out curtains at Target, they are an olive green and then over that a gauzy ribbon like curtain with the earthtones. I love them, and they should hopefully be up tonight, because J's dad (handy man extrodenaire) has promised to come over and help. Although I should have you know Becca and I would have been fine putting them up ourselves, but as I learned after stripping out two screw heads, they required pre-drilled holes and our lovely apartment doesn't have a drill. Once everything is set, maybe I will post some pictures here, however this may be difficult seeing as my digital camera is still in repair somewhere between here and Gtown. Today we checked out R--- Place again, it is a lovely welcoming church. I like it that has young people, old people, physically challenged, able bodied, black, white people all worshiping together. However it will be hard for me to be satisfied at any church after AMC. R--- also mainly uses praise and worship songs in their worship, which I am learning to appreciate more. However in general I get less out of them then hymns.

update

2006-09-19T23:55:00.000-04:00

I keep thinking of slightly witty and interesting things to blog, but unfortunately this mainly happens while I am at work, so I of course don't have time to actually write about them. And I am sure not gonna do that whole blogging from work thing. No way, man! But yes, as you may assume from this little post, we do officially have wireless here in our apartment. I set it up this evening after the girls and I watched another Firefly episode. I have to just say, I love Mal and I would definitely have his children in a heartbeat. In other news from the day. We had the most amazing supper, Becca had her day off so she baked bread and pumpkin pecan pie with homemade cinnamon whipped cream, and yes it was as good as it sounds. Oh and the spaghetti was great too. Cel---- was over to check out our extra bookcase and chair and so she stayed to have dinner with us. We had a really good conversations ranging from feminism, jouranlism to homosexuality and Christianity. Oh and I opened one of my bottles of Cherry wine that I bought at Tabor Hill. It is a very lovely wine, but it much better served alone or as a dessert, it didn't really compliment the acidity of the tomatoes. So yes that brings up to the moment where I am sitting here on our free but bugger of a couch to move up a small back stairs, bumming around on the internet way past my bedtime, just because I can.

and now for a brief update

2006-09-13T20:29:00.000-04:00

So in the past week I: served as a bridesmaid in T & C's wedding (which was beautiful) loaded up a moving truck with all my belongings changed my location to Etown signed a lease received my first two salaried pay checks opened a new bank account signed up for electricity and phone service painted 4 rooms in our new apartment drove from G to Etown with a plant, 2 lamps, some boxes and a pissed off kitty unpacked a kitchen put together a pair of bunk beds and most recently walked to our local coffee shop with free wireless and ordered a small chai and pumpkin bread becoming a responsible certified adult presence = priceless

ah chai with good froth

2006-09-13T20:21:00.000-04:00

Froth is a key ingredient in any steamed hot drink. Obviously the cappuccino owes pretty much its entire existence to it, and despite how latte's have it removed, is a natural by-product of the steaming process. Ranging from the crazy thick stuff made by half n half to the really light and airy skim version, by far my favorite is chai foam. Back at GG when I worked with B----, we invented the Cup O' Foam. Pretty much self-explanatory, this mainly consisted of layers of different kinds of foam. And seriously it was actually a really good drink! Foam is also important in a drink because it seems to keep the drink warmer longer. Now for all I know this could have absolutely no scientific backing, but seriously the stuff is like a little whipped blanket. So I encourage you all to go out and order something with extra foam (preferably something from a locally owned coffee shop).

I don't feel like posting

2006-09-03T21:32:00.000-04:00

but I still have cool friends

Job tidbit

2006-09-01T00:24:00.000-04:00

When I check magazines I get to stamp them with a special stamp with our address on it. And because it is blue, I have to stamp it on the light parts of the magazine. So today I stamped the foreheads of: Kirsten Dunst Hillary Clinton Carrie Underwood Beyonce A rich man who was on the cover of Wired and most importantly the Milky Way Galaxy Good day, eh!

coming to terms with "the best friend"

2006-08-30T23:28:00.000-04:00

You know that girl in the chick flick movies, usually brunette, or wearing glasses. Maybe she is a little nerdy, or a little too close to normal weight, but for whatever reason she is the foil for the tall, elegant, blonde, slender girl who is the star of the said chick flick and therefore one half of the pre-destined couple. Back when I used to appreciate the genre more, I would watch that girl in the movie, sometimes she would have a boyfriend (although then she would tend to be even more nerdy, pregnant, etc), but most of the time she was single. So of course, it is kinda obvious why I always watched these characters more than the blonde pre-couple. But the thing was, sometimes they actually were the funniest, most interesting and wisest. These characters helped the blonde through whatever obstacle kept her from her dream man. Now I can't necessarily claim to be interesting, funny or wise, but I have played the best friend role many times over the past few years. Watching my friends encounter the best and worst parts of relationship is always a two edged sword. When my friends have good times with their significant others, I am happy for them. I love the fact that they have found someone to fit their lives with. But at the same time, I have also found myself fighting the urge to question why them and not me. And of course I hate that instinct, because as a friend I should celebrate my friend's happiness and not resent them. Sometime this past year I had a little bit if epiphany, well in all honesty it does sound rather overwhelmingly obvious. It was that no matter how many of my friends got into relationships, it didn't impact my own ability/chances to enter into my own eventual relationship. In other words, my friends' romantic lives does not have an inverse relationship to my own. Yeah, kinda obvious, yet somehow I have found that concept to be very helpful when trying to remind myself to stay positive towards my friends relationships. So while I may currently be playing the best friend role, that doesn't make my story any less interesting, or any less capable of producing love.

first official day of the Job

2006-08-28T09:24:00.000-04:00

wish me luck

listening: Still Crazy After All These Years - Paul Simon

2006-08-27T00:01:00.000-04:00

Today was an up day. I finally got my room a little organized and there are delightful patches of floor finally showing itself. As much as I hate packing, it is a huge relief to feel like I am making progress. Then of course nothing tops off a day like a cocktail party planned by the fabulous birthday girl and attended by lots of lovely people who I haven't seen in ages. I have discovered that plenty of cocktails, a little bit of flirting and a sexy dress can do wonders for banishing tadbits of that green monster. To Do List for Tomorrow buy bridesmaid dress finish packing maybe some laundry hug parents

reunion

2006-08-26T13:50:00.000-04:00

things I lie awake and fume/think about

2006-08-24T00:13:00.000-04:00

First off, this kind of rambly thought only really takes off after 11pm at night, most often when the lights are turned off and the rest of the rooms occupants are trying to sleep. But anyways in contemplating life, the universe, god and everything, I have come to the conclusion that much of my belief in god is based on my sincere desire/need for such a god to exist. You may think that this is because I need that kind of concept to make the world make sense, or that I see the divine as the necessary link to meaning outside of individual petty lives and yes that would be true. However a large part of that is because without the existence of a god, I am not sure I'll be able to be happy in content in life. Why? Well because for that to happen in my life, one of two things needs to happen. I need to either have a serious romantic long-term relationship with a man (preferably involving marriage and at some point kids) or I need to learn how to be fulfilled and happy as a long-term single person. And in all honesty at this point in my life I tend to see both of these outcomes as miracles, hence the divine need. As a 22 year old college educated and fairly independently minded woman, you may think this romantic relationship concern a little out of place. I mean really, who needs a man? Well technically I am fully aware that I don't need a man in my life, but in the past few years I have finally begun to be honest with myself about how much I want one. Not to play the pity card (because seriously that is not what I need), but at 22 years, despite countless crushes, and a few sporadic "dates", and one long messy semi-relationship (which got off the ground only long enough for me to experience some of the worst parts of romantic involvements) I have been decidedly single. Now obviously one can hardly count one's self as "single" before 16 or so, but even so that is almost 7 years of playing the best friends, giving romantic advice, without a single real romantic relationship. So of course the obvious question remains, why? Well according to most of my friends, I seem to have a good personality. While I might not dazzle everyone at parties with my stellar dance moves, ability to toss back 20 shots of alcohol, or talk to 20 different strangers, I do seem to be able to make people feel at ease and tell a few funny stories occasionally. But in the end, life does not give hold many "scholarship pageants" for personality. That leaves me with the big question of "am I just not pretty enough". So there is the crux of the matter, body image issues. The plague that effects women everywhere and has been written about everywhere by thousands of woman. And you thought this post might be actually about god or something. Now there really isn't a good end to this post, and I mean I have body-image issues that tend to center in on my weight. Well welcome to one of the biggest issues for Western women today. If for some strange reason, this issue isn't familiar to you all, try checking out either The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf or maybe "The Good Body" by Eve Ensler. Well I think this writing before bed thing has actually paid off in that I am now growing tired, maybe some other night I will write more about this whole mess. Goodnight, moon.

random mood posting

2006-08-23T23:49:00.000-04:00

bah on pissy moods

listening: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - Postal Service

2006-08-22T22:14:00.000-04:00

I really like this music, and I like music in general. But I will forever be a music dork. It took me up onto a month ago to figure out that death cab for cutie and postal service have the same lead singer. I generally get most of my musical influences from my younger brother, who seems to be infinitely cooler than me, or at least in these kinds of areas. However I am learning, finally this summer during a 24 hour driving day (part of a larger week long road trip) I got an in depth lesson in how independent labels work, and some of the subtle differences between various forms of "satanism" and its relationship to death metal. Although when recently asked what I would choose for my favorite album of all time, I had to revert back to Simon & Garfunkel. Chalk it up to the brainwashing that I experienced as a childen by listening to their Central Park Concert record over and over while playing hours of lego with the younger bro, but this horribly un-hip group will always be a favorite. It also doesn't help my music cred that I tend to favor, lyrical, strongly melody, songs with hints of folk. I mean soft rock/pop isn't exactly the coolest category. But in my own defense my favorite of the three artists I saw during my first (and probably last) trip to a Loolapooluza concert, my favorite band was the Violent Femmes. I mean, who can resist a bunch of white middle aged men, who still like to rock it? In the end, I guess as much as I like learning about new music and plan on expanding my taste, I am okay with being a music dork. This is mainly due to my strong dislike for the music snob. You know those people who start to dislike artists as soon as they become poplular. Those who only like music that either sounds like mating yaks, involves lots of artistic distortion and is only listened to by 100 other people. Yeah, I would so take a music dork over a music snob.

commuting

2006-08-20T12:21:00.000-04:00

So folks I am once again in the great state of Indiana, here at home, but of course no one else in my family is home either. Which is actually quite impressive seeing as we are now a household of 6 (all three children at home, plus the fiance). But my parents are up in South Bend, J is at some frisbee thing, and T & C are dining with friends. This afternoon, my main mission is to do laundry and pack for Chicago, plus if I am very good rip out some seams of the bridesmaid dress that I grew to hate with much passion yesterday. We'll see if some time apart has altered those feelings. Plus of course the endless task of emptying my room of the 10 plus years of stuff build-up. Does anyone know if they make Draino for bedrooms?

pre-orientation

2006-08-16T08:33:00.000-04:00

So I am up again in Evanston. Yesterday, B, S and I drove up here (it only took us 4 hours! *note the sarcasm*). I think I am looking forward to making more friends in the city, mainly so that we can complain about the Dan Ryan together :). Anyways after a lovely reunion with Jess, we scampered off to Main St, where we had lunch at the Lucky Platter, which was delici. Then we wandered over to Starbucks, where Steph and I pulled out our laptops(Fiona and Cedric respectivily) and therefore we (or at least I) felt very city and sophistoicated. I of course soon ruined that impression by making all kinds of funny faces with Jess in front of my built in iSight camera. And then we took some that looked like this and this.

listening: Desaparecido by Manu Chao

2006-08-13T21:46:00.000-04:00

Today, S & M (he he, those initials are funny) and B & me went up to the dunes after an enjoyable baptism service at Camp Friedenswald. It was a beautiful day, with temperatures warm, but not so unreasonable, and for one of the first times this summer, I got to spend almost all of it outdoors. The dunes were packed, but the water wasn't very crowded. We quickly figured this out by wading in and promptly freezing off our lower extremities. Apparently just because the lake has had all summer to warm up doesn't mean, doesn't mean it won't be 50 degrees. So we lazed around on our towels, and I read the last bit of my most recent Spenser novel by Robert Parker (the best sarcastic bodybuilder romantic detective from the 70s ever) and various magazines that I purchased for the sole purpose of reading on the beach. Now I must say that I know I have fair skin, so I willingly coated myself in sunscreen carefully getting even the hard to reach part of my back. However in my brilliance and offhanded thought that my legs needed some sun, I skipped that part. So now I have a nice shade of lobster red on my errrrr.... upper thigh. Yeah I would show you all a picture, but seriously I don't' like you that much :) In other news, despite all of J's great suggestions I think I have settled on Cedric as the name for this computer. Don't ask me why, but I just get very male Irish vibes from it. Well I think I want to read a little before bed.

me and the mac

2006-08-12T15:47:00.000-04:00

two points for anyone who helps me come up with a good name for the new puter in my life

listening: The Golden Age by Beck

2006-08-07T10:06:00.000-04:00

You know what's really cool right now? Tim and Charletta are buzzing around our kitchen for the first time in probably over 2 years and I just checked the tracking on my MacBook and apparently it just left China a few days ago.

something from the upcoming review (I am using Steph's computer)

2006-08-06T20:03:00.000-04:00

Well it has been quite a while since my last post, not that I haven't thought of lots of interesting things to blog about during this time, but I guess I have just been too busy living those things to actually blog about. So lets see what have I been up too? I road tripped, which was amazing, long, stretching, beautiful, and above all friendship building. Then I attended the wedding of Z & E, which was simple, elegant, and rainbow perfect. After that weekend, I went east with my family to meet up with Tim & Char followed by the rest of my extended family. I really love my extended family, despite how complicated and competitive they all can be, when it really counts my family can rally around each other. For example our weekend reunion had both a very happy engagement announcement and also prayer requests for an upcoming surgery. Although, by far the hardest part of the weekend was watching my grandmother. She is very fully aware and wants so much to remain involved with the family. She has both Parkinson and this summer had hip replacement surgery. Despite how tired she gets, she insisted on attending the reunion. I think right now I have to say I hate old age, despite my healthy respect for it and the idea of life as finite, the decay of the body and sometimes the mind is so hard to watch. I think I am realizing this the most with this grandma, because I knew her when she was still a young 80, so alive and vital. Now while it is clear that her mind is still sharp, her body is becoming a burden. When I see, her I see the eventual fate of my parents and that is really hard for me to think about. I don't think I will ever be prepared for the difficulties of watching my parents age. When I was younger I used to be surprised that people in their 30's and 40's had a hard time dealing with their parents death. Part of me thought that if you were that far away from youth and so independent, the importance of your parents would fade. But now I am realizing how hard it will be to deal with the death of a parent, no matter what age. So that's a barebones update, in other news it looks like we actually have an apartment lined up in Chicago, and will hopefully be moving up in late August, early September. Oh and yeah it will be a three bedroom, which totally rocks. Becca, Steph and I have been planning and scheming and decorating (and of course Jess will join us in all of this when she arrives back from her summer travels). Let's see I also calculated it out and I logged around 5,000 miles in the car, over a 20 day period and made three trips through or to Chicago. I also impulsively bought a one day pass to Lollapooluza and saw Iron & Wine, Violent Fems and Death Cab for Cutie. It was a good day, but a little overwhelming and not entirely my scene, but it was fun to hang out with Jonathan in his element and to get to know his friend Jono. Oh and I finally did it, I bought a MacBook, which will hopefully arrive this friday. So I will try to update more this next few weeks as I attempt to A: quite my Goshen jobs, B: find or sew an amazing bridesmaid dress, C: Clean and pack up my room. I am sure I will have lots of exciting tales from those adventures. So have a great week.

listening: something by Crosby Stills Nash & Young

2006-07-17T22:14:00.000-04:00

Well the road trip is coming to an end and I am here at the M's house in P Lake. Emotions: diesel (its a long story) sunsets mountains hours and hours of music debates about music the pound finally getting to go swimming getting some sun

listening: When the stars go blue by Tim McGraw

2006-07-09T14:35:00.000-04:00

I know a little more country than I usually do, but it is a great song. Besides I will never be one of those people who won't fess up to liking a few cheesy songs. Yeah I mean I try to keep my music a little diverse, pick up a little bit of indie, alternative, bluegrass, a touch of hip-hop, but still I am such a sucker for the ballads. Especially those melancholy, nostalgic ones, that only appeal to the twenty two year olds who think high school was a long time ago. Mortality isn't something I spend a lot of time considering. I spend more thinking about contentment and how to find it; relationships and how to cherish them; security and adventure and how to balance them. Today was part two of the celebration of Becca's birthday, Steph and I took her out to eat at Hacienda, where we had a really fun and actually pretty good meal. We shared two mojitos (made with rum instead of tequila and sprite instead of soda water, therefore making them sweet enough for our lightweight tastes). And of course the required mudslide. It was just a lovely time, much of which was spent calculating/planning and anticipating the Move. We already have lots of plans on how we want to decorate, how we want to do this and that, etc. It will be nice once we have the actual apartment determined so we can start planning more solidly. Saturday was spent working, 13 and 1/2 hours to be exact, but actually as crazy as that sounds it didn't turn out too bad. Both jobs went fairly quickly and time didn't drag too badly, hopefully this trend will continue as I work tonight at GG and then for another 12 hours on both Monday and Tuesday. Continuing this update is reverse, Friday night was the Pirates II opener, which also served as part one of the Becca birthday extravaganza. The movie was great, not an amazing film, but exactly what a good summer movie is supposed to be. Oh and Friday morning I took my midterm for the online art course of death. It went pretty well, although it would have actually helped if I had read the book and would have maybe actually known the vocab words. But I think I bsed my way through it, or at least well enough to pass. My afternoon nap is calling, so I will answer it.

reading blogs

2006-07-06T14:59:00.000-04:00

Blogs have really become an interest of mine, during the past few years, bloglines, the omnipresent dooce, have all become places I visit regularly. I read the friends of my blogs, snoop through people's blogs that I like but don't know, I meet new people through their writing and even occasionally update my own. As one can easily tell my posting has become much less regular this summer, with the obvious reasons of work, work, new job stuff, dentistry, apartment hunting and art course to explain it. Yet I think I really want to start trying to post more frequently and post with a little bit more intention. I have never been a good journaler, and this little site will probably be my most thorough record of what these times have been like for me. At the same time, I am not anonymous on this site. Most of my audience of 4.5 people a day is people I know, friends, parents etc. While I like reading the many great blogs out there, there aren't a whole lot of random people reading this, which is probably a good thing and quite fine by me. But still, I obviously can't write down every little thought that pops into my head. So how does one blog about what is important, without leaving out too many of the important readable details that make a post worth reading? In other news life is on the upswing these past few days for me. While part of me really wants August to come, so that I can start the Evanston adventure, part of me is also excited about parts of July. I mean there are some big things coming up, such as the road trip to CO with A & D to visit M & J. Then there is the wedding of Z & E, the family reunion with coincides with triumphal return of C & T. Then I will quickly land in August and hopefully have both an apartment and moving plans waiting for me. As for my own personal state, other than the continued off-handed wish for a romantic relationship with a boy, I am enjoying the moments that I have with my family and friends. With everything going on and all the juggling I feel that I am doing, I don't have a lot of time for contemplation. But I would have to say my contentment level right now is around a solid 7 (high for me), even though there are parts of me that keep feeling like I am just waiting for the next big thing to happen in my life. But right now, plans of pesto making, pirate watching and road tripping are enough to make me think my life is pretty darn cool.

less wisdom

2006-07-02T11:54:00.000-04:00

Friday morning I had my wisdom teeth successfully removed from my jaw. I have to say I have been quite lucky with all this, I didn't react to any of the drugs I am taking, and my face doesn't resemble a chipmunk (at least any more than it previously did). Since then I have been bumming around the house, watching the remaining 6 episodes I had left to go of Firefly. Steph and Becca visited me on Friday, which was great and Becca used her custard connections on my behalf. Then on Saturday Becca and I went on a much needed bra shopping trip, where we were both quite successful. So while I haven't had a bad reaction to the drugs I have been left quite drowsy, so to remedy that, I am off for a brief siesta.

shhh, don't tell

2006-06-27T15:12:00.000-04:00

but I just bought a really cute swimsuit online oh and yeah the complete Firefly series, what can I say I am in love. And if I can't occasionally indulge what is the point of working all these crazy hours?

listening: The First Taste by Fiona Apple

2006-06-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

The cat, the murps, kitty, thumper, cleopatra, jules, is sitting on my lap, and I have to leave for work in 7 minutes. I don't know why that is really causing me dread right now, probably because I am quickly getting burnt out regarding work. But on the plus side, today is only a 6 hour day! So why am I still dragging my feet? I think I am actually looking forward to getting my wisdom teeth removed because it will give me my most days off in a row I have had since starting at SW (which was only 4 weeks ago, what a wus am I!). But in other news I got to have the evening off last night and went to see a concert, and then watched season 4 alias with the aurora girls and I even slept in! So lets see some positives folks! Well I gotta scoot.

exhaustion

2006-06-20T22:17:00.000-04:00

I worked almost 12 hours today which in combination to it being my PMS week, I am in a kinda sucky mood. So for a brief bitch session: -for the next 2 weeks I have two free days, both of which are Sundays, so half of them will be occupied with church, unless I start skipping -during the next 2 weeks I will work just over 90 hours and also be getting my wisdom teeth pulled -Oh and I almost forgot, I hardly ever see my friends and I still have 7 lessons left of art course.......ugh Okay and even though I don't feel like it, here are the good things -Operation Father's Day Surprise worked out great, for those of you who don't know Tim was attending a friend's wedding in St. Louis, so came over to Goshen on Sunday and surprised the living bejebbies out of Mom and Dad. It was probably the best Father's day ever! Then the whole family trucked up to Chicago for the day on Monday and spent a lot of time in the car, but also had some good bonding moments -I found out that there is probably going to be a Reba apartment open in August, however it will be smaller then I originally thought (but this also means less rent) -oh and all those working hours, means my savings account is accumulating at a rather high rate -okay I can't think of anything else, so I am going to take my grumpy self to bed.

listening: Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

2006-06-10T17:28:00.000-04:00

Yeah wouldn't I like me one of those. So yeah I have been a bum and not posted at all this past week, but then of course I have worked 50+ hours, so I guess that is a decent enough excuse. So I have learned that while I can do them, I really don't like extended runs of 11 hour days. But this weekend should bring a nice change of piece, with a jaunt up to chicy-land where I will hopefully hang out with the humboldt folks and do a little orienting for the JOB. Which should be interesting, because everyone else at the orientation thing will be actual teachers, and I am just a lowly aide. But who cares, I still get to go away for the weekend. Then when I come back the schedule will ease up, so maybe I will have time for those all important lemonaide-sipping, sunburn-getting, bike ride-taking, reading on the couch, afternoons and maybe even you know see my friends once in a while (this means you S, B, Z, M, etc). In other news (and a good example of how the Menno game applies to the Web), it turns out the cool friend of my cousin's now husband, who also went to school with some folks I know from GC, is also moving to Chicago. How kickin is that? Very, I tell you very.

day of paint (strikingly similar to day of pain)

2006-06-02T14:59:00.000-04:00

Actually it really wasn't that bad, but lets just say I may have stumbled upon another career that isn't for me. Today was my first day at SW and I put in 5.75 hours, so it looks like I may have just earned 40ish dollars, woot for $8/hour. In order to give you all a description of what I do I will give a short compare and contrast to GG. At GG we have a blender that we press a button on and then wait for. At SW we have a mixer that we press a button on and then wait for(ever). At GG I work with 4 great girls and my manager is a woman. At SW I work with 3 great guys and my manager is a man. At GG we clean the bathroom once a day. At SW we clean the bathroom when they get a new employee (ie. guess what I did this afternoon!) At GG we have a bell to let us know that a customer has arrived. At SW we have a buzzer to let us know that a customer has arrived. Sometimes at GG we have 10 customers at once and sometimes we have 2 hours with no one. Sometimes at SW we have 5 customers at once and sometimes we have 2 hours with no one. But the biggest difference is that at GG I pretty much know exactly how to help everyone who comes in the door. Name a drink, I can make it, ask a question about our biscotti or our smoothie mix and I can probably find it out for you. But at SW, I don't know anything. But I did learn that a semi-gloss means that you can see the shine when you look at the wall from a angle.

the answer is....

2006-06-01T00:04:00.000-04:00

JOB is a go! benefits = check salary of over 20,000 = check (can you believe it, I think this may be a real job folks) personal days/sick days = check same vacations as school schedule = check 3 day orientations with $30/hour stipend = check all this and I only have to work 10 months out of the year = double check one gosh darn excited abby = checkeruroski In other news, I finally completed lesson 1 of the online art apreciation course, so kudos to me. Only 10 or so to go! Also I still haven't started at SW, but I don't really care, the summer is just looking too rosy.

things I have learned by the arrival of summer

2006-05-28T20:33:00.000-04:00

1. My internet addiction takes a pretty big nose dive when I am sharing my internet access with 3 or 4 other people and I don't have good reason (i.e. homework) to get me to sit down in front of a computer every day. 2. Sun is good, but sun, humidity and frickin 90 degree weather in May is not as cool 3. I love sales at lane bryant. 4. Taking the time to prepare yummy, nutritional, fresh meals is so worth it, especially when you have some one to cook with you. 5. Cats with anal leakage problems are not cool. Life continues to be good, even though I have yet to actually start at SW. But considering I'll probably be putting in over 30 hours at GG, so that should keep me busy. I like living at home with my family, cat and last week Katie. I think I am definitely taking advantage of the time I have here at home, however limited it may be. Also this week I should be hearing a final yes or no about the JOB in Chicago.

back home and loving it

2006-05-23T19:26:00.000-04:00

These past few none college related days have been great. I haven't accomplished a whole lot, but I have also managed to feel quite busy. I think this is largely due to the fact that I took a 24 hour trip up to Evanston for said interview (which went very well) and I have been doing a lot more work in the kitchen, garden and around the house, because my mom is recovering from a foot surgery which leaves her on crutches. Another great part of the past few days has been having Katie living at my house for the week. We have made a few meals together, including this nights amazing crepes meal, biked errands and generally hung out. This is especially great, because I won't be able to do this much with Katie during the next year, due to the small distance of half a country between our respective cities. But basically instead of trying to tell you lots and lots about the past few days I am going to make two recommendations. First, go check out the new MacBook offered by Apple. It has a 13" inch screen, comes with a 1.8 intel duel core processor, and 1gb memory, plus a 60gb hard drive. So basically I can get everything I am looking for for only 1,400 and I can get a Mac! Now of course I need to do is save up another 1000 dollars. I also just finished reading The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan (author of Joy Luck Club) and it was just a great book. It deals a lot with relationships (specifically sisters) and also Chinese thought, stories and history. I would totally recommend it for some great summer reading, but especially for all those China SSTers out there.

i know, i know

2006-05-22T08:18:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted for a week, and I promise I will update soon, but the big news is that in around 45 minutes I will be interviewing for the JOB. Wish me luck!

webby, webby, where's my webby?

2006-05-15T20:10:00.000-04:00

Okay folks, the website is officially kinda sorta almost partially finished. So go take a look at it and let me know what ya'll think. There are still some pages that need some work and some text that needs to be added, but for the most part, you should be able to get the feel of it. And I must say I am pretty proud of it. Oh and the pictures used were all taken by myself, so yes they are my fault :) In other news I am thinking that I would like to do a bit of renovation of this hear blog, so suggestions for new names, photos you would like to see included, etc. would be greatly appreciated. But first I have to find out how to edit this blogger template in Dreamweaver without destroying it in the process. Things to do tonight: -shower -tape grey's anatomy season finale -visit Will to take picture -sleep like the dickens

two recipes

2006-05-15T16:45:00.000-04:00

Recipe for getting rid of cramps: -take 2 pain killers -watch 2 episodes of Friends -eat 5 squares of dark chocolate -drink 4 cups of Chinese tea -pee 17 times Recipe for regaining cramps: -work for 3 hours in the computer lab -loss an entire page due to crappy Dreamweaver random shut-down

listening: Kingdom Come by Coldplay

2006-05-13T23:27:00.000-04:00

"For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come. Until my day, my day is done. And say you'll come, and set me free, Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me." I like those lyrics, they just make sense for me right now. I think because transitional times always feel like waiting periods for me. Right now I am almost a college graduate, but not quite. Almost financially independent, but not quite. I am on the cusp of the stage of the rest of my life. I mean I haven't been out of school since I was five, people! How will I even function? The other night I was talking to Meryl and she was saying how much she is going to miss people and how she can't believe she is leaving so soon. As I sat there and listened, I just couldn't understand, I mean the whole idea of not seeing the people I have lived my last four years with on a daily if not weekly basis, how can I grasp that? I mean I have done the leaving thing, I went off to both Northern Ireland and China for three months, I went to Indy Peace House. But I have always come back, and well this time, there is no guarantee. I think part of the reason this whole leaving and goodbye thing hasn't made sense for me yet, is that I don't want to have to be that sad. I don't tend to like goodbyes, and I find it easier to see transitions as the inevitable movement of time. I mean why fight what you can't change? But still there was something about this weekend, when Meryl has been gone, that I just began to realize what it means to not be living with her again and what it is going to mean to have her halfway across the country from me. With the exception of the summers and my one semester at Peace House, I haven't not lived with this girl for four years! Dear lord, what I am I gonna do without her? Random Tangent In the past few days, people have found this blog through the following searches: 1. boss "like a personal assistant" 2. floaties in eyeballs (of which I am the third listed result on google, what the heck!) 3. pomograntes for sale (I am the second result on this one, but that is probably due to my misspelling of pomegranates) 4. random facts about me

listening: Who makes me feel by Dido

2006-05-12T10:12:00.000-04:00

So I got a job at SW (the paint store in Linway), which is super awesome because that means I will actually make money this summer. I have to say I am really looking forward to this summer, not only because I will earn money, but because I will get to live at home again with my parents AND younger brother AND eventually both my older brother and his fiancee. Oh and the Cat (who we still have to figure out the name thing for sure). In other news I am redesigning the GG website for Creating for the Web, and I gotta say, I really love this whole webdesign stuff. It is similar to layout, which I have always enjoyed and even though I don't have huge training in it, I would love to work more with it. Um, lets see what else, oh yeah, I am FRICKIN excited about Chicago (even if I don't get my dream job, in fact if God holds up the bargain, not getting the job, would mean getting something else that I really want :)).

the fight against lameness

2006-05-09T13:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, although great fun was also one of the lamest days of my may term so far. Other than going to class and having dinner at Panara Bread, I essentially spent 5 hours watching the tv screen. Now all of this was watching dvds of tv shows (which until such a time when I would get Tivo, this is my favorite way to watch tv). I also spent another 2 hours doing crosswords. So yeah, not very active, interesting or non-lame. But to inspire myself to make this day a better one, here is my to do list: -meet with SW (the paint store) at 3pm to hear about summer job plans -set up long-overdue vet appointment for the kitty (which speaking of names for the cat, what about the possibility of Juliet, cause then we could call her Jules for short) -upload recommendations to library aide application -find out about electronic copies of transcript -start on-line art appreciation course, so that I can indeed graduate -maybe bake some cookies -watch one (and one only) episode of alias, we are only 3 episodes away from finishing season 3!

apartment drooling in Chicago

2006-05-08T11:41:00.000-04:00

Does anyone see the windows! Seriously, all this could be ours*, hardwood floors, high ceilings, and a frikin hall! *Becca, Jess, Steph and I

road trip from heck

2006-05-05T21:29:00.000-04:00

Not to totally flip yesterday's post on its head, but today kinda sucked, no actually I mean really sucked. The main reason for this being my life between the hours of 11:30am and oh say 4pm (Chicago Time). During that duration, the following things occurred: -just west of South Bend a piece of the plastic undercover of the bumper came loose right in front of the front right tire of the prism. This resulted in a few scary moments and a delay until Jess in a fit of genius discovered that we could rig the piece back into place by using a key ring to replace the bolt. -after exiting the Indiana toll road, we became majorly confused as too our route and its relation to 90 and 80 and 94, which resulted in a rather large confusing circle and finally getting on 294 around half an hour later -due to construction we sat in traffic at least 3 separate times until we finally got off the turnpike -then a car pulled out in front of me, causing much stress and a mini heart attack So basically I was around an hour late to my meeting at the high school, however this was okay in that it wasn't a real interview after all. And I learned that there are apparently a pretty large number of applicants for this job, so at this point I really don't know my chances of getting it. But it looks like I will have an official interview, in front of a committee mind you, around May 19th. Sigh, so despite this probably being my worst trip to Chicago, it is amazing what a few hours perspective, some tylanol and water, and an amazing Thai meal can do to return to a good outlook on life. In other unrelated news, go check out my first totally original website!

quizs and memes do not a good blog make

2006-05-04T20:12:00.000-04:00

okay, okay I know I have been a bit behind on the whole updates thing, but seriously its may term guys! This means 3 weeks of only morning classes, herd like behavior at the entrance to the Rot and of course if God is loving and kind, warm sunny weather. So far God seems to be in a good mood, because the weather these past few days has been glorious. So where to start? The problem with not blogging for a little while, is one tends to forget everything that is most recent and most interesting to write about. First off, I gotta say I am doing much better than spring semester. Not that spring semester was awful, but I just feel like the sun has come out both literally and in my overall outlook on life. My housemates are wonderful, I've got some kick a** friends, one out of two brothers is actually back in the country, I have a room to myself (even though I do miss Alex), I am taking only one class and it is one that I am actually interested in. I also have a job interview this friday up in Evanston for a teacher aide position in a high school library. I graduated, finished the paper, survived the huge wash of self-doubt, got a haircut and dug up some spring clothes to start wearing. And thanks to Dad's continued patience and work, I once again have a working bike, which is a wonderful thing indeed. So yeah, maybe I am a little high off of the weather or all the frickin fresh air, but life looks pretty rosy right now.

stolen from crystal

2006-04-29T13:26:00.000-04:00

So here's the deal. Leave me a comment in this post and I will: 1. I'll respond with something random I like about you. 2. I'll tell you what rodent reminds me of you. 3. I'll name something we should do together. 4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me). 5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you. 6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you. 7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you. If I do this for you, please post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

a meme thing

2006-04-26T00:59:00.000-04:00

So I like to read blogs and well this one, was doing it and so I thought, hey its 1am and I have to go to class tomorrow, so let's give it a shot. Instructions: * Put your music player on shuffle. * Press forward for each question. * Use the song title as the answer to the question, even if it doesn't make any sense. Out of the 2,500 plus songs on my computer: 1. How am I feeling today? "Love You Madly" by Cake um this kinda works, I mean today was a good although very disorienting day, but not sure what this means. 2. Will I get far in life? "Posters" by Jack Johnson, so maybe this should be my new career? anyone wanna buy my posters? 3. How do my friends see me? "Knowing Me, Knowing You" by ABBA, yay! my friends know me! 4. Where will I get married? "What Can You Tell Me" by Chuck Prophet, perfect that this one would be answered with another question :) 5. What is my best friend? "Blame It On The Tetons" by Modest Mouse, okay no, not getting this one 6. What is the story of my life? "Satan Is My Motor" by Cake, wowsas, this one is good, I mean obviously I have been secretly satanic for years now 7. What was high school like? "Alleluia" by oddly enough my high school choir 8. How can I get ahead in life? "Running To Stand Still" by U2, mmmmm deep man, deep 9. What is the best thing about me? "Dreams" by Cranberries, okay I'll take that, although I don't actually remember my dreams that often 10. What is today going to be like? "Complicato In Israel" by David Hirschfelder, great I love complications! 11. What is in store for this weekend? "The Scarlet Tide" by Alison Krauss, actually I don't think it is that time of the month yet 12. What song describes my parents? "Mi Nino" by Gypsy Kings, um this is in spanish and so I don't know what it means, anyone wanna help me out? 13. To describe my grandparents? "Orange Blossom Special" by Johnny Cash, a rather beautiful image actually 14. How is my life going? "Phone Call" by Yann Tierson, actually I did get a prank phone call recently 15. What song will they play at my funeral? "Martha, My Dear" by the Beatles, actually the name's Abby, Abby, yes short for Abigail, get it right please! 16. How does the world see me? "Absinthe Makes The Heart Grow Fonder" by Jason Webley, um, so does this mean I should go away for a while? 17. Will I have a happy life? "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash, oh great thanks for clearing that one up for me 18. What do my friends really think of me? "Unknown" by Lifehouse, okay well this kinda contradicts number 3 19. Do people secretly lust after me? "By The Mark" by Gillian Welch, yeah not getting much out of this one 20. How can I make myself happy? "Go It Alone" by Beck, you have got to be kidding me 21. What should I do with my life? "Honey, Honey" by ABBA, but wait you just told me that I should be alone, now I am supposed to find a "honey, honey" you are so confusing meme! 22. Will I ever have children? "Asleap On A Sunbeam" by Belle & Sebastian, okay so is that a maybe? 23. What is some good advice for me? "Sail To The Moon (Brush the cobwebs of the sky)" by Radiohead, awesome, I am so in! 24. How will I be remembered? "Remember The Time" by Michael Jackson, okay wait, I was just asking you that? 25. What is my signature dancing song? "Shadowboxer" by Fiona Apple, well a great song, even if it doesn't do well for my kinda dancing * 26. What is my current theme song? "The Ascent of Stan" by Ben Folds, what the heck? 27. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? "Wild World" by Cat Stevens, yeah I would have to agree, not making sense can be kinda wild :) *maybe 25 and 26 were supposed to be switched. Okay enough of that craziness, I am gonna go sleep for a while.

got graduation?

2006-04-23T23:28:00.000-04:00

So its official folks, I have graduated from GC (Well not really, because I still have a little online course thing to finish up, oh and I don't have a diploma and may term starts on Wed.) Actually yeah, not really sure why I graduated today, or how, but according to the 100 people who have all told me congratulations, I seem to have graduated. It's been interesting, these past few days have been full of nostalgic moments, group bonding, close times and other tear worthy events, but as for tearing up, nope not me. I guess I just haven't felt like it, which is weird considering how down I was this past week. I think its because this whole graduation thing feels really surreal, plus I have been feeling disconnected from classes for a while now. But for whatever reasons, and despite my lack of tears, this weekend has been pretty great. Today especially. After waking up at 7:30am, to shower, shave legs, and curl hair, I went to the Assembly Graduate breakfast and then for first hour. All went well, breakfast was yummy, singing was good, sermon was interesting. Then Dad, Mom and I skipped out early to head over to the Baccalaureate, which ended being really good. A peace prof talked about his time in N. Ireland and other things, plus senior reflections and other good times. Then home to eat lunch and sew a snap onto my dress so that the front wouldn't be so "sexy" (as Libby described it), then went back to the college to meet up with my housemates and we walked over to get ready for the processional. The ceremony went well, not too long, but long enough. Oh and I didn't trip and fall and embarrass myself hugely when walking across the stage. Then of course came the hugging and congratulating and picture taking. Mom was very obliging and let me take lots of pictures with people. Then it was back to the house, to get ready for our open house. Which rocked, I got to talk to lots of good people and I had good conversations with Laurel and Andy (actually 3 andrews) and there was lots of good food and I got to see the Rushes and we talked about Hong Kong and how good peanut butter ripple ice cream is. So it really was quite lovely, but now I am tired and getting a little loopy, so I am going to go to bed.

amazing women's night

2006-04-20T23:41:00.000-04:00

I just arrived back from my evening at Katie's mysterious amazing women awards night. With some help from a few bodyguards and papparazi, she invited her close graduating girl friends to her apartment. It was a black tie event, so we all got gussied up, pulling out old prom gowns and senior recital gowns. Then Katie gave her prepared program in which she very eloquently talked about each person, and how they had influenced her life over the past four years. It was beautiful, a little tear inducing, and very meaningful for me considering the ups and downs I have been experiencing this semester. It always helps to realize how much we all impact each others' lives and how really blessed we have been to know each other. Katie's award for me was the "Oracle" award for the way I perceive people and try to give advice. That was a wonderful thing to hear, especially coming from someone I consider to be so wise herself. The whole evening was a beautiful gift from Katie to all of us who have become so close over these past few years. Sigh....feeling so content right now! On a totally random note, apparently a fair number of people who end up randomly at my site get here for searching for "buca de pepa", which is the mispelled name of an italian resturant I went to in Indy with my family. The real name is Buca di Beppo, but apparently there are a lot of people out there who are just as bad at spelling as I am!

whoa, guys

2006-04-20T12:04:00.000-04:00

dude, I just scored a 77% on a crossword at this website. Now I know that doesn't sound that great, but if you try one, then maybe you would know why my nerdy little heart thinks that's so cool.

listening: Blow the Moon Out Please - Hem

2006-04-19T23:25:00.000-04:00

I listened to Hem a lot in China SST, it is perfect for those recovering melancholy moods. When you want to just be comforted by quietness with a twist of bittersweet hope. Things I have learned/thought about since my previous post: 1. Although setbacks are so much more easily absorbed and believed, that doesn't make the bits of praise and compliments any the less important. Why is it that I will believe the critiques so much quicker than the praise? 2. There are other good kinds of writing than historical writing, and maybe what I love about history doesn't have to be the academic part. 3. My family is amazing, especially my mother, who is a wonderful, beautiful and much admired person 4. A good meal, a 2 hour alias episode (in which the obvious is finally confirmed), and lots of laughing with friends can really improve one's outlook. 5. But that doesn't mean that I still don't have issues, sigh, when did life get complicated, because I swear I think it used to be simpler to be happy.

close but not quite

2006-04-19T14:14:00.000-04:00

(in which Abby blogs about what she has been thinking about recently, but not writing about) If feels right now like a lot of factors in my life are close, but not quite. For example I just got back from my exit interview with my history prof in which my final grade for my paper was revealed. It was a B, which I think a part of me knew it was gonna be. But of course there is another part of me, that is just plain down disappointed. The one problem with academics coming fairly easy for me, is that any "failures" or deviations from my expectations for myself are all the harder to take. And really the B part wasn't hard, so much as the "good....but" part. I have never been a perfectionist and I can hardly understand the concept, but I have always hated to be good, but not quite good enough. I think my total GPA for my time here at GC will be 3.9 out of 4.0, which I know is good and that I shouldn't feel bad about, but I can't help feeling like it is proof once more about how I am good at academics, but....... And it isn't just about academics either. I think that was one of the hardest parts about my failed relationship with Z, I felt like I was almost good enough for him, but not quite. Now I know that sounds negative, it is more that we matched in a lot of areas, but not in others. Although if you asked me now, I would have a hard time figuring out how I ever thought we matched up. But I feel that same idea in other relationships too. Recently I have been feeling like I am a good friend, but...maybe I make things too much about me and my issues, maybe I can't be giddy for my friends when they want me to, maybe I don't have the energy to go out and be social. For all the gray areas in my belief system and outlook on life, it is being an almost, so close, not quite that bothers me the most. I think this also plays out in my self esteem in that I can feel beautiful, but not attractive. That I can pull together an outfit, but there is always a part that feels like it needs just something a little different. And in totally superficial areas, the dress I ordered arrived and was beautiful, but (you guessed it), it is a little bit too big. It is still wearable, but it doesn't look as good as it would if it fit perfectly. Plus returns are impossible, because the dress seems to have sold out in all sizes, seeing as it is no longer listed online. So its either return this one and find a totally different one, or find a way to make this one work. Also this past week, I finally went to see the counselor to talk about my "issues", of which the main one we talked about was body image/self esteem. While it was really hard for me to finally persuade myself to go, I was glad I went, even though parts of it were really intimidating. Like filling out a form in which I had to check of boxes of what my "issues" were and sign confidentiality things and tell a practical stranger that I have trouble seeing myself as physically attractive. I often hate doing/saying things/ or being in situations where my size is made obvious. I think sometimes I feel like I don't tell anyone that I am a larger woman, then no one will notice. As for the session itself, it was good, but probably more reassuring than insightful. I know enough about the concept of therapy to know that one hour-long session definitely isn't going to fix everything, but still wouldn't quick fixes be nice? So there, readers, I am not sure if you actually wanted that outpouring of information, but there you go.

one exam left

2006-04-18T14:03:00.000-04:00

Well I really have no clue what I was actually going to say here. I remember thinking to myself just a few moments ago, about how I should post something, but now of course I can't think of anything intelligent or interesting to say. But as you all probably guess it, that won't keep me from publishing this :) I took the Hist Glo Pov exam this morning, I think it went okay. Although I decided not to write my two essays in thesis format, because gosh darn it I have written enough thesises for this collage. And besides aren't arguments so much more interesting if you give names to the two sides (Jerry and Ann, for example) and then frame the whole thing in the form of a conversation? Yeah I thought you would agree with me on that one. Also Easter was great, I did nothing really, which is like my favorite thing to do. I made another ring to finish up my jewelry for the semester, and then polished up a copper one I did earlier in the year. In other news I only have one exam left and its for a class that I am not really worried about, so that feels good. And I turned in my Senior portfolio, so that's one more thing I never have to think about again. The sun is shining, so I think I might take a wee nap.

done

2006-04-14T11:47:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here in the Schertz computer lab, looking at my three paper clipped (to many pages to staple) copies of my final senior history thesis. So yes I suppose the celebration should begin, but instead I am just really kinda nervous. I mean what if my professors hate my paper, declare me a slacker and withhold my diploma............ack I thought I didn't care any more! in other news I ordered the dress!

so graduation outfits

2006-04-10T13:20:00.000-04:00

Isn't this a gorgeous dress! I want it, but here's the thing it's $70! But then I mean I could wear it for a lot more than just graduation. So what think you all? Would it be worth it?

mood of the moment

2006-04-09T20:40:00.000-04:00

getting weary to the bone, and it seems my attention span has already graduated from college and deep inside me sighs a voice "its not fair"

triple shift

2006-04-08T14:08:00.000-04:00

closed Saturday night at GG opened this morning close Sunday 8 page paper due Monday but on the plus side Meryl gave me a backrub that worked a few of the dozen or so knots out of my shoulders

10 reasons yesterday rocked my socks off

2006-04-05T12:55:00.000-04:00

10. I completed my enneagram o crap presentation for class and it seemed to be well received, so check up another assignment to my bs skills 9. got my teeth cleaned and learned that once again I have no cavities (although its looking like the wisdom teeth need to come out this summer) 8. presented my senior history thesis to a crowd of maybe 20 people, didn't puke or otherwise embarrass myself, in fact may have fooled people into thinking I am a professional 7. recieved compliment on presentation telling me I should consider being a teacher, appreciated the thought despite all lack of teaching in my possible future plans 6. it was sunny 5. I baked a devil's food cake from scratch (even though I used store bought icing), it was pretty good. Which is a good thing, because I had to frikin beat each ingredient one at a time and egg whites and combining carefully and sifting and all sorts of crap that is way different than adding an egg to a cake mix. 4. I completed the goshen news crossword with the help of my parents and megan while waiting for number 1 to arrive 3. ummm, I don't know number one and two are the really cool ones 2. my housemate lena returned from SST 1. Jonathan, my younger booger brother returned from SST! and he is fluffier and curlier and tanner and cooler and just so totally awesome! Yayy!!!!!

listening - "Etcetera Whatever" Over the Rhine

2006-04-03T22:45:00.000-04:00

yay for ipods, they make the computer lab so much nicer Working on the thesis presentation tomorrow, kinda nervous, but I just have to keep telling myself that "we're gonna be alright", I know this stuff. I have been obsessing over it for more than a year, I just need to be able to say my stuff articulately and calmly. Still I can't wait for tomorrow evening to arrive, oh say 7pm. Yeah that's a good time, let's just forward there, any takers?

p.s

2006-04-01T01:04:00.000-05:00

I just passed 4,000 visitors to this site! Thanks to those of you who read this (or stumble across it by accident), it's nice to have you around.

tummies and junior high brats

2006-04-01T00:55:00.000-05:00

Tonight was crazy at GG, I ended up working from 9:30 to close by myself. This wasn't a big deal until around 20 junior high and high school age kids came in all at once and a bunch of them wanted smoothies and we only have two blenders. So I was working my butt off and of course none of them tipped. So I was in this really exhausted bad mood when I came home and there were dishes waiting for me. Ugh, but then I chatted with Mel, Alex and Meryl and got a great backrub from Meryl and got to vent about my evening. So that made things better. I am still really exhausted though, sleep will be lovely. But the craziest part of today was learning that a good friend of mine from high school is pregnant. She's single, but apparently decided to keep the baby, which I am really impressed with. And seeing her, and her pregnant belly, just wow, kinda really happy for her, and just blown away by the whole idea. I mean I know that at this stage in life I will be seeing my friends get engaged and married, right and left, but pregnancy, that's a new one. Makes me feel old, but yet not, because I don't really see myself as ready for either marriage or babies. Probably another good thing, because neither option would fit into my life right now. Anyways I am not sure this makes any sense, but I am gonna go brush my teeth.

just in case

2006-03-31T10:36:00.000-05:00

any of you were waiting on baited breath to find out whether or not I had completed the reflection paper on time, I did, during record night to be specific. Today I got up a little bit early to come over here to the mac lab to meet with Miriam about her senior recital posters. Which is at 6:30pm a week from this sunday in Reith, and in doing this printing things I realized that I am signed up to work next sunday night! So I guess I'll be trying hard to find a last minute replacement on that one. Yesterday was spectacular, warm (no coat), sunny with just a few perky clouds, and a slight breeze. There were bits of biking around in spring tops, listening to harry potter, a small handful of researching in the library, with a dose of sunbathing with a fly which could only walk. It was weird though, despite all the loveliness my day was only okay to blahish. Maybe its the two presentations I have on tuesday, or how I work both tonight and tomorrow night. Or how I just want to be doing something else right now in life, I am so done with academia, but yet in all honesty I feel completely unprepared for the "real world". Despite the improvements I have made this semester, I still lack job skills and probably interview skills too, ugh, I just want to be doing something other than this right now. But then I also know that give a year or too and I'll look back on where I am right now and be like "wow those were the days, life was simple and college was amazing". So I try to live these last few weeks with joy and to get all I can out of it, but I am just not always happy to be here and now.

crap!

2006-03-29T15:11:00.000-05:00

I just remembered that I have 3 page reflection thing due tomorrow and I have to leave now for work, followed by record night, dangnabit.

emotionality

2006-03-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

I don't care if that's a word or not, but that's kinda how I am doing right now. I mean everything is fine in my life, I had a perfectly fine weekend. But I just finished almost balling after watching Grey's Anatomy. It was just plain tragic and not even very hopeful and so I cried. Ugh, maybe I am PMSing, but I feel like tears have been almost bubbling up continually for the past few days. Movies and tv shows are big starters oh and beautiful hymns like Breathe on me breath of God, from this morning. I just find myself tearing up so quickly. I guess its okay, but I kinda wonder, am I crying at the movie/tv show? or am I crying because of something inside of me? Maybe I am over analysizing this, but I am not sure I totally like either option. Are these movies just pushing the buttons for me? Is that form of grief wrong in that it can desensitize you to real world pain? Or is it just dehydrating? But then I don't really think I have things inside me that need to be cried about right now either. So who knows. Maybe tears are just that, water squeezed out of eyes, not indicators of more than that. Yet isn't there something wrong with me crying about a girl who dies on a tv show, when there are lots of real life deaths so much more worthy of tears? I think the reason tv shows and movies set me off, is because they bring death home for me. I end up identifying with the characters and therefore want them to be free from pain, emotional and physical. Sure I would love the world to be free from pain too, but most of the time, those problems are bigger than I can really contemplate deeply. Alright enough about that. In other news I went on a walk/run this sunny afternoon while listening to Beck's Guero. I really like that album, but then that is really typical of me, considering it usually takes me a good 3-5 years to find out about really cool artists.

CPT hostages freed!!!!

2006-03-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

The three remaining CPT hostages were picked up by British troops in a neighborhood in Baghdad. While they are receiving medical treatment, they don't seem to have been too badly harmed. For more news go here* or here *the Tim N quoted at the end of the article is in fact my very own grown-up brother. Interestingly enough I was so excited when I read the article that I missed this point until Steph commented on it.

he he hehe

2006-03-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

paper is officially 20 pages long * *snickers quietly to herself......and giggles** **should not be taken as signs of insanity, only mac labishness

question

2006-03-21T17:22:00.000-05:00

does anyone else ever get the fear that other people seem to be living way more interesting lives than one's own? also does anyone else ever feel like giving the rest of school the finger? *note to self: stop reading blogs and right the darn paper!

listening: The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill by the Beatles

2006-03-20T21:30:00.000-05:00

You know those Beatles have some really weird songs in their repetorie. Obviously this is no news to those Beatles fanatics out there, or maybe even everybody but me. But seriously the same group that sang the bubbles of "All You Need is Love" and "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" also sang "Happiness is a Warm Gun". Interesting don't you think. Today was a pretty good day, a little on the unproductive side of things, but not too bad. I started the day off with Digital Design, always a fun time. I really do love that class and I am really enjoying working on my final project. I think it is coming together. When I am done with it, I'll try to find a way to post a picture of it here or something. After that there was chapel at 10, followed by Elkhart Truth time and my rather pathetic attempt at the crossword and then Hist o Glo Pov at 11. A rather uneventful morning altogether. Although after listening to Goshen Grad TShenk talk about how he travels to various locations around the world to write about how MCC is having an impact on people's lives, I was reminded of my dream job. This job was actually held by my aunt for a while back in the 90's, but essentially I would travel the world for Ten Thousand Villages connecting with the local artisans and helping come up with new ideas for products and crafts that then would be sold in North America for fair prices. So that would involve travel, art, people and good business sense, how perfect would that be?! Now I just need to find a way to get this job, assuming it still even exists. Then this afternoon I went home to do laundry, watched the Best of Adam Sandler SNL video, which wasn't that great. Came back to the house, got a little work done, then went to supper. After that I put in almost 3 hours in the jewelry lab working on a pair of earrings, which are now almost completely done. In fact I am currently wearing them. It is great to wear something that you made all by yourself and then get complements on them. Maybe if the mood inspires I'll post a picture of them. So that brings us up to pretty much now. Hopefully the rest of the evening will involve me working on a little homework for a little bit, then getting to bed on the early side.

a blog is born

2006-03-19T00:31:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Jess just started her very own little blog. Go check it out at http://jessicari.blogspot.com/. I would link to it in this post, but I am borrowing Alex's apple and for some reason the link button doesn't appear above this entry. Why am I using her computer, you may ask, because my mouse just gave up on my computer. I kinda feel like my computer is the equivalent of one of those old rusty cars that is held together with duct tape, but in my case its spare parts and tech service friends. Ugh, I just want to buy a laptop. But unfortunately nights like this at GG isn't going to help. Becca (my coworker) and I cleared just over $2.50 for the whole night! It just sucked! Plus about half an hour before close we got a crazy rush of seriously like 20 people, mostly adults, who all ordered drinks and some got cinnamon rolls. Becca had already pulled one side of the espresso machine, so she was doing all these drinks with only 2 shots at a time! But she was amazing, she was finishing the drinks almost as fast as I was ringing them up. So we finally got all the orders done and it was about 10 minutes till close, then I looked in the tip box and none of them had tipped!!! Grrrrrr, I mean I understand when young people, college students, high schoolers, etc don't tip, but when adults don't it gets so annoying. Especially after we were so polite and fast considering the line. Despite all that it was still a good evening and it was great when a bunch of the girls from the house stopped by, unfortunately they came right before the rush, so I didn't get to chat. But it was nice to see them anyways. The rest of the day was pretty good, I slept in and then went to hear about half of the student academic symposium, which was really good this year. But after that I didn't do anything productive for the 2 hours I had before work. Tomorrow some serious work time needs to happen!

thursday night that kinda feels like friday night

2006-03-17T00:28:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day in that I skipped my only class (my second skippage for this week, but only my second for this entire semester) and slept in. Then I did various errands downtown including picking up some good Rachel's bread. Then I went to the library and pecked out a few more pages for the huge paper o death. Which is now at a rambly and rough 18 pages in length. After working on that for a while, I came home for some soup and bread supper, followed by a check at the jewelry lab on some pieces I had in the tumbler. Then I worked on digital design stuff at the mac lab. I am designing my final project which has to be a book of some kind. I am combining pictures, journal entries and other stuff from China into it and so far I am really enjoying it. Whenever I do digital design work I feel a little guilty because it feels like I am procrastinating cause I enjoy it so much. Hmmm, maybe this says something about my choice in majors? In other news, David surprised me by installing another stick of memory in my dilapidated computer! Although I can't tell a huge difference, it does seem to run at least a little better. I think the real test will be when I try to have several applications running at once. So finally I have the basic requirement in memory instead of half of that. This week has been rather bluish blah. I have been rather grouchy as of late, although today was a better day than some. I feel really tired, but also like I have this pent up emotional energy. Maybe I need a punching bag or something. Although every time I think about May term, I get excited, because I will be graduated, senior history paper will be done, Jonathan (the little bro) will be returned, the weather will be nicer (I refuse to accept anything less than 65 and sunny), I will be taking an interesting class and I won't be graded! What more could a girl want? I mean other than a may term fling that is :)

listening: Like a King - Ben Harper

2006-03-13T12:43:00.000-05:00

This is a confusing song in that when I first heard it I thought the chorus was oddly enough "rodney king, rodney king" and then after looking at the title of the song, I thought oh, "like a king, like a king" that makes so much more sense. But then I was listening again and I could swear the lyrics switch back and forth between the two. Obviously I would never make it in such professions as dictation secretary or rapper. Update: I looked up the lyrics and they are as follows Like a King, like a King, like a King. Rodney King, Rodney King, Rodney King. Like a king, like a King, like a King. How I wish you could help us Dr. King. Rap career, here I come!

new profile picture!

2006-03-12T00:47:00.000-05:00

mourning

2006-03-11T11:43:00.000-05:00

For those of you who haven't heard yet, Tom Fox of Christian Peacemaker Teams was found dead in Baghdad this week. He was among 4 other CPT hostages take last November in Iraq and the sole American in the group. For a beautifully written statement from CPT go here, for news reports go here or for the American view go here. News like this is hard to hear, even though I never knew Tom, I know a lot of CPTers and it is hard to face the fact that being a peacemaker won't keep you from dying. But at the same time, that is the role that CPT take on when it goes to violent situations around the world. CPT is there to be "soldiers" of peace and each delegate or team member knows the risks. I think this is also scary because of how those in my family will also probably be going on CPT delegations in the future and there is no pretending that that isn't risky. So for now if you are a praying person, then I ask that you hold Tom Fox and his family in prayer and all of CPT.

mein bruders

2006-03-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

This morning I opened up my email to discover that the updates from the SST page were up and that the pictures from where my brother is doing his service are up. So go check out the SST update page and then my brother is the most recent update, the shaggy haired dude in washed out blue. Three cheers for instant global communication (and by instant I mean so much faster than a pony)!

listening - "We can make it better" Kayne West

2006-03-09T01:09:00.000-05:00

Record server music, yeah still here on the record wednesday night. oh and by the way the paper is officially 13 pages of awesomeness, plus today I did another interview note takin thing but I haven't started the paper that is due on friday for his o glo pov yesterday I worked 8 hours at GG, and tomorrow I get the pay check o largeness due to the spring break party time at work I am currently using the gigantic computer monitor of the hub, it is seriously wide enough for like 3 open windows, so much space it is almost overwhelming. I think when I buy my computer I am gonna have to choose between having a nice monitor size and having a portable laptop this afternoon rocked the house, literally rocked the aurora compound, cause that's what trains do whenever they go by, but anyways jess came over and we just talked for seriously 2 hours, then we hung out with meryl, I feel like all sections of my life are just so much more emotional these days, I feel like my outside appearance is a shell that barely contains all the emotions underneath it, and then other times I just feel empty inside, like nothing really matters to me, and then other times I feel both ways at once I recently finished reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, which was although tragic a lovely novel about death, heaven, grief, and family dynamics. Actually I have GG to thank for all this extra reading for fun time, cause during slow periods, I just pull out my book and get going. Kat is dancing around taking pictures and Anna is looking over the pages, so I think I will end this post.

"three cheers for 11 pages"

2006-03-06T15:15:00.000-05:00

yeah lets hear it folks* *this remains much more spectacular when not applied to the rest of the sentence which reads "out of 30"

listening: nothing actually

2006-03-05T12:29:00.000-05:00

just the whirl of my computer and that taping of my keys, this is mainly due to the fact that although I double clicked on iTunes around a minute ago it is just now opening. Yes my computer is that slow, but then of course I can't really blame it as it is hobbling around with only 128mg of memory, so obviously everything takes a while around here. It is sunday and slept in again today, although last week I was in Chicago, so it wasn't so much a conscious missing of Assembly. I can't say I was terribly productive with my time this week regarding the paper o death, but I did actually make some really good steps in the right direction. I also put in 28 hours at GG, which was overall fun. Although I have to say tipping on Friday and Saturday nights, just doesn't happen like it does on the weekdays. For example on Monday and Tuesday I made around $10 in tips where as on Friday and Saturday, after splitting it with D we both made around $2, kinda a major difference. But I still have to say I really love working at GG, even when I get really tired at 10pm and still have an hour and a half of work left. I think a big reason I like it is because it connects me with an outside college group of people. Fresh faces! I just really like seeing new people and even if I don't have long conversations with them, just being surrounded by something new. I think this is also part of the reason I am really looking forward to living in Chicago next year. Oh and this weekend I read The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, which is set primarily in Chicago. First off the book was a delight to read, the descriptions and characters were so real and vivid that I just loved every sentence of it. Plus it is based on a fascinating concept of a man who spontaneously time travels, therefore bringing up interesting ideas regarding cause and effect and how much choice we actually have about our lives. One of my favorite descriptions in the book is of Henry's (one of the major characters) father. "He's sitting all bunched up in his chair, and I notice his hands, long elegant hands that lie in his lap like a cat napping." I just really liked that simile. Anyways I really recommend it.

listening: So Long Jimmy - James Blunt

2006-03-02T01:17:00.000-05:00

I have to say I like this Blunt fellow. As most people, I only found out about him through his "beautiful" song, which I really really liked the first 5 times I heard it. However after the 10-15 times, I must say my enthusiasm for it is fading. Maybe this has to do with the limited repertoire on the adult alternative station at GG, or the fact that I actually like some of the other songs on his album better. All in all though, not to bad. So you may ask, how is spring break going? Well, the break part is doing okay, the spring part is middling, and the work part is maybe a 5 out of 10. I am putting in some extra hours at GG this week, for a total of 28, and I spent all of last weekend in Chicago, so the writing time hasn't happened as much as would be desired. However I have watched the rest of season 2 of Alias, two movies, played a game of Tichu, baked cookies, ate Indian food, made $20 dollars in tips, ate Greek, Chinese food and Chicago pizza. I have petted a cat, slept on a couch, drove from Chicago to Goshen in under 2 and a half hours, and even taken a few showers. Oh and I had this very strange dream that took place in a pub in London and involved me accidentally ordering a bottle of Baileys, and then out of embarrassment drinking the whole thing and getting rather tipsy. Which by the way is rather odd in dreams, and I have to tell you I think my sub-conscious was making it up, because I actually haven't ever gotten drunk yet. Oh and then my parents came into the dream and interrupted my great conversation with cute bartender #3, but fortunately they didn't seem to mind me buying a $60 dollar bottle of Baileys in London. umm.....maybe it is a little late?

how cool am i

2006-02-25T17:20:00.000-05:00

bloggin from the apple store in chicago, how for a thousand bucks.........sigh

how lame am i

2006-02-20T14:09:00.000-05:00

I seriously just sat here in the library doing crosswords for 30 minutes oh and have any of you fantasized about what name would sound really good next to yours?

listening: By the Mark - Gillian Welch

2006-02-18T23:41:00.000-05:00

I just finished my 8 hour shift at GG, equaling 14 hours total for today and yesterday. While I am pretty tired, I have to say, I really like my job. Maybe I should just forget this college stuff and work in coffee shops for the rest of my life, or maybe I should go live on a beach and learn how to surf. Can you believe it, it is only 2 degrees here in Goshen, and oddly enough that is a degree lower than in Chicago. I definitely felt all 2 of those degrees tonight when I took the recycling to the bins after I finished at GG. I had about 3 bags and cardboard to take care of it and by the end of it my fingers were both numb and stinging, a great combination let me tell you. Tomorrow morning I lead worship at Assembly, something that causes me just a little bit of concern, I mean I am pretty much prepared, but of course there are always nerves regarding things like this. But I think it should go well. In other news, I really need to get working both on jewelry and history senior sem, neither one is coming along and needs to be and I just really need to make them more of a priority in my life right now. But first of all worship prep, followed by sleep in a hopefully large dose.

that weird state of espresso induced tired alertness

2006-02-18T00:13:00.000-05:00

I did it, Lauren (the other trainee hired the same day as myself) and I pulled a friday night shift all by ourselves. I think it went pretty well, we survived the huge rushes, kept sane, made about $1 per hour in tips, and closed in a not too shabby for our first time 40 minutes. It was a good night, I mainly worked the cash register while Lauren did the drinks, although during the rushes I popped in to try to help. Right now though my feet are crazy sore, so are my knees, I am totally exhausted, but of course thanks to that cappacino I had about 4 hours ago I am wired still. The best part is that I get to go back to GG tomorrow afternoon and work another 8 hour shift! Which is actually quite nice, because at this juncture in life, I can use all the money I can get. While I should probably go to bed, I think I'll go watch an alias episode.....yes I know this makes me a dork!

valentine's day

2006-02-14T21:48:00.000-05:00

I know this is rather an obligatory post. I could do the whole single woman on the big love fest day of the year rant, but you know I'm just not feeling it this year. Mainly because today was a good day. I had dinner with my house at my actual home. My mom helped me prepare cheese fondue, my dad actually agreed to change out of his oh so spectacular biking pants for dinner and the meal went great. Then I worked at GG and made a few dollars in tips, made a few drinks and discovered I really like hazelnut pretty much anything. Then I walked over here to the library, while watching the full moon up in the sky and I saw Orion's belt (the one constellation I can actually identify). And you know, yeah it would be nice to have a significant other to share this with, but I think right now I okay with being by myself. Eventually I will find that person to have fights with, and laugh with and go see quirky movies with.

man I even have procrastination tendencies for my blog right now...

2006-02-14T09:49:00.000-05:00

ugh, new resolution for me Get off my butt and start being productive!!!!! (i.e. write the stupid paper already)

so that international body, yeah the UN

2006-02-09T18:33:00.000-05:00

I just finished up my first day as the Cote D'Ivoire delegate to the General Assembly Special Session. This is a special plenary session focusing on issues of the Middle East. Today we got through our first (which was originally our third in order) topic which was the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and the recent withdrawal from Gaza Strip by Israel. Although I have been to Model UN before, that was my freshman year and had none of the protocol that goes into these assemblies. I am the only Goshen person in the GASS (yes they do actually call it that), so I was definitely a little intimidated. But after a rather dull morning which I spent trying to figure out how to accurately portray a small west African country's opinion on the middle eastern issues, I finally realized that really everyone knew as little as I do and is mainly trying to pretend to each other that we actually know what is going on. Plus it helped that I found a niche for myself by addressing the issue of the Israeli "security" wall that runs through Palestinian territory in an attempt to reduce suicide bombings. Because most of the working papers weren't addressing this issue as directly as I would have liked, I got together with Columbia and Turkey and we wrote up our own resolution calling upon Israel to dismantle the wall and to form a commission to study the effects of the wall and possible humanitarian needs of the Palestinian people. That made the afternoon much more interesting and I was proud that our paper was the first to actually make it through the process and is now an official draft resolution ready to be voted on tomorrow morning. Although after getting some feedback from other delegates, I am having a tricky time dealing with the issues of country sovereignty. Because the issue of the wall is not a threat to international security and because it hasn't received the official wording that would make it an internationally recognized human rights violation (despite its very real human rights issues), there is some issue with whether the UN can tell Israel to remove a wall that was on its own land. Now obviously the sections of the wall that are on Palestinian territory can be condemned by the UN, but the sections in Israeli land are protected by the idea of sovereign countries. This was an interesting point for me, and while I understand the need for countries to have sovereign, it does seem like just one more way that the UN becomes a useless body, cut off from all options that actually can promote real change in the world. So we'll have to see what voting brings tomorrow morning and how this resolution all plays out. It was also interesting to note that although this is an issue I feel fairly educated on, most of my info comes from CPT and other type of organizations, which sometimes lack the non-biased internationally approved view-points.

model UN

2006-02-08T14:56:00.000-05:00

my ultra professional clothes are picked out my info is printed off and 3 hole punched my black pants are free of lint my backpack is stuffed the car key is in my wallet my iPod is charging um as for that reading........we'll just have to wait and see

how is life you ask?

2006-02-07T09:51:00.000-05:00

Well, the short answer is my life is pretty much lacking all motivation. I think in all honesty I have senioritis pretty bad. My most interesting class this semester is digital design, which has absolutely nothing to do with my major and I just accidentally skipped yesterday. I am not sure about this history thing, but let me tell you it is way to late to reconsider that one, so I shall have to produce this monstrous paper o death even if it is actually yes the last thing I want to have to do. In other news I also have this online class that I need to really get a move on. It is my art appreciation thing that I am doing instead of humanities. I also leave tomorrow for a 3 day Model UN conference thing, which I am woefully unprepared for. During which I will be on a committee in which I know absolutely no one, but then hey no one will know how much I will suck at it. Tonight I work at GG, which I have to say is still a highlight of my life. Although I am sure I will love it even more when I actually get my first pay check. Am I looking forward to graduation? hell yes! P.S I think I should have warned you all I was in a lousy whiny mood, sorry about that!

oh how young and innocent we all were.......sigh

2006-02-06T14:23:00.000-05:00

I have found that sst lies much closer to the surface of my thoughts than I had anticipated. Although not always a factor, it sits there a constant reminder.

yeah, I should go to bed

2006-02-06T00:23:00.000-05:00

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

brokeback mountain

2006-02-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

I just went to see this movie up in South Bend with Crystal, Jess and Becca, and it was a really powerful movie. Heartbreaking and beautiful, very minimalist and yet it had a real feel and grace to each scene. I can't hardly express how amazing Heath Ledger's performance was. But there are probably much better reviews of this movie, else where so I will leave it to them. "Yet "Brokeback Mountain" is ultimately not about sex, ... but about love: love stumbled into, love thwarted, love held sorrowfully in the heart." Stephen Holden, The New York Times The movie was great, but it left me in one of those more melancholy moods, the grey sky today was actually quite perfect for the emotions I've been having recently. I think I am heading into somewhat of a down mood, which is of course weird, because yesterday was a really great day. I think it doesn't help that I am beginning to realize how much work I need to be getting done these days, and how much just isn't happening. Especially the history seminar paper, ugh it will be a very wonderful day when I put that one behind me. I think I am wearing out of college, it doesn't fit me as well as it used to. Although I would have to say my house is one of those exceptions, that still fits well, maybe with some minor adjustments here and there.

record, oh record

2006-02-01T22:25:00.000-05:00

yeah, rockin the hub tonight. Actually things are really moving along for only 10:30pm, however I am stuck here waiting for two perspectives and one comic, jeepers why can't people get there stuff in. In other news my life seems very good, dull, winterish, tiring and better than usual. It truly is amazing the spectrum of moods one can go through in just a few hours. oh by the way the frappes at GG rock, especially the dark mocha, I recommend then. In fact I more specifically recommend them this Saturday from 6pm to 11pm when they will be made my yours truly.

coffee: houses and jobs`

2006-01-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

Well, Saturday my day revolved around coffee. I opened at GG for the first time as a part of my training. I worked with Becca, who was great. I really feel like I am beginning to get the hang of it, making drinks even, doing the register thing, etc. The whole steaming milk is getting less intimidating and other than the specialty lattes and some of the frozen drinks, I am feeling pretty confident about. It was great on Saturday morning, Jess and Becca came in to visit and do homework. I got to test out the mango smoothie on Jess and get Becca's opinion on the cinnamon rolls. I think I will like working at GG. Oh and while working 5 hours I made just over 6 dollars in tips, so yay for making 7 dollars an hour. After work, I headed home for some quick laundry and patching of the jeans. Unfortunately my embroidered pair have already ripped their patched seams after wearing them today (Sunday). Ach vel. But then Saturday evening I went to the international coffeehouse and dinner. It was a pretty good time, I think the whole show was even better than last year and of course the food was amazing. Then today I had a pretty packed day, which oddly enough made me even more productive. I went to church, followed by lunch at the Glick household. Then off to my SST chapel meeting to finalize plans for tomorrow. Which in typical China SST fashion took about 30 minutes longer than need to and made me feel like a reluctant dictator. Trying to get our group to come to some kind of consensus and keep everyone happy is like pulling teeth! But I think we got most things figured out and hopefully everything will go well tomorrow morning. After that meeting I headed over to the art building to do some jewelry stuff. I worked on a copper trial version of a ring idea I had. My first attempt isn't too bad, but not exactly what I was originally planning, so I tried a few things in wire. I think I am getting close to figuring out how I want it to work. Then at 4:45 I met up with Becca, Meryl and Zeb and headed over to the Holsopple house for some amazing boiled turkey and quality time with Zeb's parents who are pretty gosh darn cool. After that it was back home for some emailing and homework. I finished my reading just in time for Desperate Housewives at 9pm, but when it turned out to be a rerun went over to the computer lab to finish up my digital design homework. Then I went back over to Kauffman 3rd for Grey's Anatomy, which was great this week. Which brings me up to now, and hopefully the rest of the day will go like this. "Abby finishes doing random things at the computer, brushes her teeth, washes her face and goes directly to bed". But of course we'll have to wait and see...